Beto lost last night, so really, we all lost

I hate the "cover this, not that" game annoying blue check losers love to play on Twitter as much as the next person, but honestly, the only thing I want to see on my TL today is thirsty Beto O’Rourke coverage. Y'all really let him lose, huh?

I know that's not the only thing that happened last night — Democrats reclaimed the House, a record number of women were elected, a man who writes Bigfoot erotica became a congressman — but if Beto had won, this man was going to stop cheating on his girl!!

Good luck sleeping with that on your conscience.

You know what else will be weighing heavily on you in coming weeks?

This girl will never love her virginity

This dude will never dance a jig

This chick will never get her shit together

Emily will never get Beto's mugshot tattooed on her ass

An absolute travesty if you ask me. He looked hot in this, don't @ me.

Texas Republican Party really thought they did something there. SMH.

We'll never get nudes from this girl

Efren will not suck one hundred cocks before the year's end

Actually, blowjobs are canceled altogether

No more booty pics

No more pizza

This person's crush will never know they exist

SAD!

This girl is going to execute herself

And we never even got to see Rosey's boob on Twitter

If nothing else, Ninah still know the bliss of chugging Four Loko

Oh, and…

Limited rights for women and minorities. We're giving every single person a gun. Fuck DACA students! And we can just toss healthcare and and the LGBTQ+ community right in the bin.

It's cool though, because at least this guy is not gonna fight every old white person he sees.

But if Beto can get 49 percent in Texas, imagine what he could get in the whole ass USA. Republicans underestimate him at their own peril.

Beto 2020. Free my man!

@carolinephinney