Let’s all follow Bella Hadid’s guide to winning back your ex

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Let’s all follow Bella Hadid’s guide to winning back your ex

Where there’s a will, there’s a way

If you are extremely tired of people rolling their eyes every single time you suggest you'd take back your lying/cheating ex, and just want someone to encourage you to ruin your life at your own fucking leisure, you've come to the right place, my friend. Jokes aside, I don't even mean this sarcastically. Sometimes we really miss people (*cough* Bella *cough*), and sometimes we part ways with people we were actually meant to be with forever.

Sure, "You broke up for a reason," and that reason is they didn't want to be with you anymore. But that doesn't meant they don't want to be with you ever again:

Consider all the reasons you broke up in the first place

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The easiest way to mess this all up is by making the same exact mistakes the second time around. There is a reason you two decided to part ways, and you are going to have to have a long, hard think about these reasons before you can even consider reaching out to them. If you don't — even if you do get back together — eventually the same old issues will surface, and the next time, the breakup will be for good.

Do NOT bash them on social media

This should go without saying if you want to win someone back, but say you've broken up recently and still aren't sure whether you'll want them back in the future. It's almost never a good idea to shit on someone on your socials. It makes you look immature, not to mention it makes it look like you care way too much. My best advice would be to avoid it all together. This way, if you do decide you want them back, you don't have to just ~hope they didn't see all those nasty things you said about them, and if you don't want them back, you still look like you couldn't care less.

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Similarly to Bella, on top of avoiding bashing them, don't rush to delete photos of your ex from your IG. It looks way weirder when people go back and erase all evidence of the relationship like it never happened or something? Just leave 'em, and post some new things at the top of your grid so they aren't the first thing people see when the land on your feed.

Stop doing things because you hope they will see it

While you shouldn't erase them from your feed or your life, you also do not want to go out of your way for them at all. Sometimes, especially if we have shared friends with an ex, we go out of our way to see them. We know they'll probably be at so-and-so's birthday, so we make sure to look extra good that night. We assume they'll be at the office Christmas party, so we book a blowout the day before…Don't stop going to things because they will be there, but it's obvious when you roll into someone else's birthday in a ball gown that you did it because you wanted to impress them. You want to keep going out, but you do not want to make your new life about them.

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Mingle with other people, leave before them so they don't think you're waiting on them, take a fake phone call if you have to, I don't care. Don't be over the top about it, if they say hey, you can say hey back, but remain focused on a future without them, even if you think they might be in it. Nothing drives a guy crazier than a girl who couldn't care less.

Get with other people

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Remember when Bella was getting with Drake? This sounds…petty, but it's not. You're single now, and you are allowed to get with whoever you want, so get to it. Some people make the mistake of doing this solely to make their ex jealous, and while that's an added benefit, it's also something you need to do for yourself, even if it's just a means to and end — that end being your ex taking you back.

If you never hook up with anyone else before you two link up again, it's nearly impossible to start fresh. They are still the only person you've shared any kind of connection with, meaning your slate is not clean. You don't have to want to date the person, but trying on some other people for size will clear your head, and remind you how many other people would love to be with you.

Act like you could not care less

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I think this here is the most important step in winning an ex back, and it is entirely underrated. People want to be with happy people. People want to be with people who are perfectly happy without them. And by people, I mean men. You need to prove to this person that if they never came back into your life, you would be perfectly content moving forward alone. Actually, you might be better. Don't overdo it, because it will be obvious if you start posting IG stories about how happy you are, but a few pics where you look really happy surrounded by friends — and maybe a few attractive men — will seal the deal (in their mind at least).

They want to feel important, and nothing makes us feel more useless than the realization someone who used to need us literally does not need us to be happy at all.

Do not take them back the first time they come to you

This sounds insane, right? You've spent all this time trying to win them back, and now that they're finally standing in front of you (or through the screen, let's be real), you supposed to turn them down? YES. You just have to trust me on this one. The biggest mistake you can make if you want them back, like really want them back for good, is to get with them the first time they tell you they miss you or want to try again. This is the bare minimum! They are testing how willing you are to drop your guns — they want to know if they still have you at their fingertips. Once you say no and let them know they don't, they will become a million times more obsessed with winning you back, because now it's a challenge.

https://twitter.com/IreneeArmstrong/status/804790928217018368

Once, and only once, they have tried multiple times, if you still decide you want to try again, go ahead. Because now, the relationship is entirely in your hands, and he knows it. Take it from The Weeknd.

@carolinephinney

original video by

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