looks • Nov 27 2018

This extra-chunky cow is a big moo-oood

I’m udderly disinterested in anything that’s not bread

Pop quiz! What cures that inexplicable dread-knot that lives in your throat every holiday season? Is it:

A) Talk therapy

B) Lexapro

C) Eating Betty Crocker cake frosting straight from the can using your finger as a shovel to cram it in your face-hole

Obviously eating is the correct answer! Just ask Big Knickers, a ginormous she-cow more famous than I'll ever be. Waddling around at more than 3,000 pounds, the chooonky legend is (unofficially) Australia's biggest bovine ever. She's big and beautiful and makes me feel way better about the Seamless-related crimes I committed last weekend.

Look at this gentle giant amongst her peers:

I know this word gets thrown around a lot but it's never held more meaning from me: same.

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