Here are the GREATEST moments of Ariana Grande’s new ‘thank u, next’ video
by Nian Hu
On November 30, a date that will surely go down in history, the queen herself decided to bless us with the official 'thank u, next' music video. And to no one's surprise, it is a goddamn masterpiece. I'm literally about to go home and rewatch all of the classic movies she reenacted in the music video. Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, 13 Going on 30, AND Bring It On?? Go OFF, Ari!
And while all 5 minutes 30 seconds of this video were jaw-droppingly good, there were 5 specific moments that left me SHOOK. Without further ado, here they are!
A mini reunion with her Victorious co-stars (minus Victoria Justice…oops!)
So I may have been the only person in the entire world who watched every single episode of Victorious, but I don't care! That show was good, okay? And what's more important, that show introduced Ariana Grande to the world. Sure, her character Cat Valentine had red hair and a ditzy little high-pitched voice BUT she was still iconic AF.
Which is why it's no surprise that she invited so many of her former co-stars to appear in her music video. Elizabeth Gillies played a very convincing Cady Hero, Matt Bennett showed up as an adorkable Cliff, and Trina Vega made an appearance as a fellow Torro cheerleader. Wow, that's a LOT of former co-stars, some of whom I haven't seen in a while! But WAIT, there's one very notable exception…Victoria Justice herself, the lead character of the show. Where she at? Probably at home muttering to herself, "I think we ALL sing!"
Kris Jenner as the "cool mom"
Well this was…unexpected! But there's no mistaking that signature pixie cut, nor that steely-yet-maternal gaze. That's the matriarch Kris Jenner alright! And honestly, it makes perfect sense for her to play Regina's mom?? Like, who could possibly embody that role more? Over-achieving mom trying way too hard to be hip by living vicariously through her beautiful daughters? Ooh, that hits way too close to home!
The best part about all of this isn't even watching Kris dorkily wield a video camera or call out, "Thank you next, bitch!!" at the end of the video. The best part is imagining the conversation that took place between Ariana Grande and Kris Jenner. Like, how did she convince Kris to do this…? HOW, ARI?? More proof that she's an artistic genius who can make miracles happen. Thank you, Ari.
The many references to Pete's monster cock
Ohhh boy. Ari might be done with Pete the man, but she's clearly not over the ten inch cock that he's (reportedly) packing. There's a full-on conversation during her Legally Blonde sequence where she talks about how she misses him because he was "really cute" and "it was really big." Doesn't take a genius to know what "it" is referring to!!
And just in case you didn't quite understand, she also included a really quick shot of Pete's page in her Burn Book. Written underneath his photo, in gigantic all-caps letters, is HUUUUUUGE. Sigh. Okay, Ari! We get it, he's hung like a horse! And honestly, who among us haven't accidentally fallen head over heels in love with a greasy-looking idiot just because of his huge cock? Relatable af.
Ari leaving everyone at Harvard Law School SHOOKETH
Okay, so this might just be me. Because I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but this one part had me seriously questioning my sexuality. Don't get me wrong! The original Elle Woods was fucking stunning. Reese Witherspoon KILLED it with the perfectly-tailored hot pink outfits as she strutted down the stodgy and colorless campus of Harvard Law School, turning heads wherever she went.
But Ari?? I'm just saying, if she were to roll up on campus looking like THAT, I'm pretty sure people would be having heart attacks left and right. Like, what even is this?? Is that a goddamn hot pink patent leather miniskirt, jacket, and crop top? Only the queen could pull it off, I swear. I need this outfit in my closet IMMEDIATELY.
A hint that Ari is still…kinda into Big Sean??
Ooh la la, move aside Pete Davidson! Turns out Ari is still harboring a big ole crush on…Big Sean? See for yourself! On Big Sean's page in the Burn Book, she wrote, "Can still get it." Oh COULD he, now? I see how it is. And you know what? I'm down. I stan them getting back together!
Well, now we know Ari has a type. Pete Davidson and Big Sean look pretty different, but they have ONE thing in common — fucking enormous dongs. Don't even THINK about hitting up my girl unless you're sporting a ten-incher!