Why is this egg prettier than me and you?


babe  • 

Why is this egg prettier than me and you?

No, a different egg

I know it makes me sound like a bitter bitch to say I hated the World Record Egg. Like I’m one of those people who hates everything popular just because it makes me feel superior. Well, hate to break it to you but I love Twilight so that superiority complex theory is out the window.

Maybe I just hate the World Record Egg because I stan Stormi so hard,and the second we come up with a name for her fan collective(Stormers?) I’m getting it tattooed across my ribcage. But maybe it’sbecause I found a superior egg. An egg to dominate all life. This egg:


Yes, in these egg-crazed times, someone beat this egg’s face. Snatchedher cheekbones, overlined her lips, and highlighted her cupid’s bowjust so. This egg could fuck my man. And the makeover process isactually incredibly soothing — not even just for the violently high,either!

If you can deal with the shame of knowing you look like the egg beforeand will never look as good as the egg after, watch away.