People who swear all the time are actually really fucking smart, says science

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People who swear all the time are actually really fucking smart, says science

It’s linked to higher intelligence you cunt

Pottymouths are persecuted. Even in your twenties, your censorious mother will still clutch you, aghast, for dropping a curse word; at school, you were dealt detentions and playground duties and extra homework for exclaiming “shit” when you forgot your folder, or something.

Other smug critics observe that swearing is a substitute for eloquence, that using the emphasis of a curse rather than the subtle power of economical language, is unsophisticated. Their foul-mouthed verbal acrobatics count for nothing. 

Oh do fuck off: researchers at Marist College and the Massachussetts College of Liberal Arts finds that those who swear like troopers tend to have a wider vocabulary, and better verbal skills.

The scientists asked participants in the study to complete a Controlled Word Association Test (COWAT). This test measures the size of your vocabulary. Then, the same participants were asked to use as many swear words as they could in a minute. The study found that those who reached easily for swear words, tended to know more words overall.

And even better, it’s foul-mouthed women who are leading the charge. Professor Tony McEnery said: “As equality drives on, the idea that there is male and female language, that there are things which men and women should or should not say, is going to be eroded – gentlemanly behaviour and ladylike language should become something of the past.”

Sure, they were also less agreeable, less conscientious and more neurotic than other people. But that merely substantiates their character as that of tortured geniuses.

Fucking brilliant.

Illustration by Daisy Bernard.

@rosielanners

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