How to prepare for your walk of shame the night before

No matter how hard you try to tell yourself that you won’t be going home with that hot guy you’ll inevitably meet out tonight, your drunken alter ego has other plans. Next thing you know you’re waking up in a sort of unfamiliar place thinking to yourself, “How many stares will I get walking home in this outfit?”

But rest assured, there is a way to plan ahead with very little effort. You must do this while getting ready to go out before the drinks start to influence your behaviors.

So what does sober you do? She gets the essentials together for the walk of shame home tomorrow morning.

Here’s what you will need:

Inside your cross body

The small stuff can go in here. I suggest whatever cross body is your go-to, use it because you’re familiar with all of it’s hiding spots. In here you put your toothbrush, condom, roller perfume, and sunglasses. The toothbrush and roller perfume are for obvious reasons. No one likes the taste of last nights drinks at 8am when you’re feeling that hangover creeping up on you. You also don’t want to smell like this guys house, so use your little perfume, too. This guy has to have toothpaste in that disgusting bathroom somewhere, so use a little to freshen up. Your sunglasses will cover up that smudged eye makeup and help with the headache you’ll get upon stepping outside.

Things you carry on yourself

Remember that cute flannel you wore tied around your waist last night? Now you can button it up over your crop top and wear it since it’s roughly 15 degrees cooler out than when you were outside last. Those hair ties on your wrist? Tie up that mess of hair into a bun/pony tail. Or rock that “sex hair” like nobody’s business. You’re also going to be thanking yourself for wearing flat or not super high heels last night because they look pretty normal with your impromptu outfit you just took from last night to this morning.

Own that walk baby girl

As you’re walking home, use those few dollars to grab coffee or some quick food to hold you over. A quick stop at Dunkin Donuts should do the trick, I recommend iced coffee. So now that you’re as prepared as you can be, strut your stuff while hiding behind your sunglasses. Give a friendly smile to that family walking past you. They don’t need to know where you were all night, but they can probably guess. Enjoy the cool temperature of the morning before you get back home and sleep the rest of last night off until it’s time to hit up brunch with the girls and spill every dirty detail of your night.

@TheTab