Awful gifts from boys that will make you glad you’re single
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
Ah Christmas. The festive period. A time to come together with friends and loved ones and exchange gifts which will make them feel happy and appreciated. Well, for most people that is. People who aren’t going out with fuckboys.
I once heard a story from a girl who got pick’n’mix from a guy she was seeing. Another of my friends had a three year relationship with someone who gave her a £10 Topshop giftcard three years in a row. How do people get it so wrong?
When I was 16 a boy sent me a necklace in the post. It all seemed really nice and romantic except when we broke up a few weeks ago he came around and asked for it back – and then he gave it to his next girlfriend.
My ex gave me his own mix CDs wrapped in toilet paper (which might have been cool when I was 16) but we had been dating for two years and I was 20.
One guy got me a Gucci necklace that cost £130. I didnt even know we were that serious so I assumed from this point on we were, because who buys a random girl heart shaped Gucci necklace. He broke up with me two weeks later said he didn’t want a girlfriend ?????
So I sold it on eBay for like half the price.
My dad bought my mum for her first Mother’s Day as a mother (to me) a car wheel lock. Like the massive metal thing you attach to a car wheel to 100 per cent make sure no one can steal it. No one does this anymore. And that was it. No breakfast in bed just a car wheel lock. Romantic.
The most fuckboy gift I’ve ever been given myself is Victorias Secret lingerie that he wanted to get rid of because he’d had an argument with his actual girlfriend and ‘we were about the same size’. Yes readers, I was a side chick who took a main chick’s underwear.
My boyfriend got me an egg poacher for my 21st birthday.
I dated this guy who had a weird obsession with Kim K and he bought me $1000 extensions so I’d look more like her – and he literally told me that – but anyway, I ended up liking them but when we broke up he like literally threatened to yank them off my head.
My exes last name was Cook. So he bought me a Cookie Monster onesie to wear because “I was his and everyone should know that”. Then when I put it on he said it was unattractive and to not wear it around him. It’s safe to say we didn’t last much longer after that and I sold it on Depop for £2.
My boyfriend, who I was dating for almost two years got me fuzzy socks for Christmas and then forgot my birthday in January 3 weeks later. I dumped him.
OK, so this is kind of a cool gift, but not from a boyfriend. Mine got me a salt rock lamp for an anniversary or something one year. A SALT LAMP. To make things worse I’m pretty sure he bought his new girlfriend the same one because I see it in all of her pics from her bedroom. Clearly he’s got a go to shitty gift. Meanwhile I bought him Chanel cologne and stuff for his car. What a mug.
I got a pair of trainers from a boyfriend at christmas, which in theory is a nice gift. In practice though not so much. They were like proper gym-wearing trainers, not fashion ones. When I said tentatively “oh thanks so much, this is a bit of a surprise though, I don’t usually wear ones like these” he told me, totally deadpan, “well, you’ve gained a bit of weight recently”.
When I was sixteen my boyfriend spent hundreds on a “new set of teeth” for me. Basically I always had gaps between mine, so he bought me build ups to fix them. I mean, I’m sure it was intended to be nice, but I always thought it was quite offensive.
My boyfriend gave me two £20 notes for my birthday.
I was given a bottle of perfume which was part of a gift set my boyfriend gave his mum. It didn’t even have a lid.
He bought me running leggings for Christmas. I did want some so that was fine. Then the following July for my birthday he went against all suggestions from my mum and our mutual friends, and low and behold I open the box lovingly wrapped to reveal a Slendertone ab toner. He said: “you said you’ve always wanted one when we saw it on TV.”
What I actually said after the TV ad was: “II wonder if they actually work or if it’s bullshit.” I asked if I could return it because it sticks on your body. Argos wouldn’t refund it – yeah ARGOS – they’d only give me a gift card in return.
So I ended up with a £50 Argos voucher, great.