What your sexts say about you: By a psychology student


lust  • 

What your sexts say about you: By a psychology student

‘If u want u can pretend ur takin my virginity ???’

We’re all guilty of getting down and dirty over text, but what does your attempt to be sexy really say about you? The way you sext your significant other – or current friend with benefits – may reveal a lot about your personality. Whether you’re into aggression or being called daddy, we’ve all got our dirty little sext secrets.

The animal lover


Beastiality is illegal in the UK but that doesn’t stop you from fantasising, you’re clearly a devoted animal lover. Maybe your first crush as a child was Simba – it’s more common than you think. If that’s what you’re into grab some cat ears and draw a few whiskers on, just make sure the claws aren’t out – or do, whatever you’re into.

The good friend

Sharing is caring and sexy time is no exception. Before you run off to your tinder dates house make sure your mates are sorted, you’re the considerate type and you’re not going to let Jack turn 21 without a shag.

The swearer

You’re a strong and independent human, distance will not get in the way of your sex life and you’re a fighter. Even if it does mean giving off confusing angry but also horny vibes. The word fuck is also essential.

The one stuck in the past

You have issues holding onto the past, but that’s okay because you can just recreate it. Can’t get over that ex you fell in love with and lost your virginity to? That moment never has to die, just make sure you moan the right name.

The foodie

You take that saying “be a chef in the kitchen and a slut in the bedroom” very seriously, sometimes the two can get confused though. You see your woman like a cream egg: delicious, delicate but very messy.

The kinky one

Freud would love a session with you! Daddy issues can’t be ruled out and you show no boundaries. 50 Shades of Grey is probably your favourite film and you take role play a little too seriously.

The clueless chat up line

If your approach to anything sexual is a cheesy chat up line you’re clearly hiding behind shit humour. You were probably that child who made friends by telling jokes, it didn’t work. Get to the point and tell the gal what you want.

The charmer

Some of us are born to be charmers, others aren’t. Your heart is in the right place but you’re not quite there yet. When it comes to sex you’re willing to compromise – a little. Only the best get upgraded from accommodation or nightclub toilets.

The cutie

Some of us are soppy fuckers and can’t help slipping the L word into conversation when things start to heat up. Who said romance is dead? You probably have sex in missionary then cuddle and eat popcorn after.

The mess

You’re a free spirit. All you’re out for is a good time and an orgasm. Mess? Who the fuck cares. Just avoid the wet patch for the rest of the night and you’ll be sound.

The misogynist

You’re like a baby who throws toys out the pram. Someone dares to reject you and you instantly respond with insults and sexism. The girl who was gorgeous 2 minutes ago is now an ugly slag in your eyes. It’s a shame masculinity is so fragile.

The honest speaker

There’s no point in playing around, you say what you’re thinking because it gets results. Playing with words is fun, why call it getting head when something like a sloppy is far more inventive? You know how to get the sloppy girl.