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Science says not even a great personality can save you if you’re not hot, so I guess I’ll die now
I didn’t ask to be born, OK?
by Amanda Ross
If a giant astroid smashed into NYC right now and killed me, it honestly wouldn’t be the worst scenario ever as long as my cat still gets to be my cat in ghost-form.
I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that the most recent findings in this “love and relationships” study are the worst things to happen to anyone, ever. And yes, I’m counting all the wars!
New research shows that even if you have an amazing personality (i.e. funny, nice, creative), you’re likely to stay single if you’re not hot. And it gets worse! Psychologists found that average-looking men with great personalities are considered more attractive, but so-so women are considered less attractive the better their personality is.
I’m sorry, what?
“The findings even suggest that less physically attractive men who are creative are equally as attractive overall as men who are objectively good-looking but who are not creative,” lead researcher Christopher D. Walkins writes. “On the contrary, less physically attractive women don’t hold a candle to women who are objectively good-looking, regardless of how creative they are.”
I’m a pretty empathetic person and this doesn’t compute with even me. If you’re not that hot (tag yourself, I’m not that hot) wouldn’t dudes want you to have originality and humor as a little extra something? If this has left you feeling kind of like shit (same), there is one silver lining: this study was the result of examinations of anonymous essays and headshots. Maybe the girls just didn’t work their angles! But research also says we like people the more time we spend with them so take solace in that, I guess. Whatever.
If science has taught me anything — other than that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell — it’s that men are the weaker sex and are sure to eventually bite the dust in an evolutionary sense. They hate smart women, funny women, “not hot” women, and yet they’re attending college at lesser rates and just generally dying sooner.
But not soon enough.