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The funniest tweets about sweating to remind us we’re not alone in this awful, moist world
There’s boob sweat to go around
For some reason when you google image search “sweating,” all that comes up is row after row of soaking men, as if women A) are aliens who don’t have sweat-glands, or B) are not active enough to sweat.
The first theory has potential, but as far as the second is concerned, jokes on you all, you don’t need to be active to sweat.
When you’re born with portable sweat holders on your chest, there’s no avoiding the inevitabilities of boob sweat, and don’t even get us started on the special kind of swamp-ass that comes along with thongs.
But next time you find yourself hiding in the bathroom using hand towels to wipe the stream off your back, you can rest assured there’s another girl in the stall next to you doing the same thing.
For some of us, it begins before we even get out of bed
We leave the house looking like a solid 7, and arrive looking like a 2
That’s when the boob sweat takes hold
Even for girls with small boobs
And don’t get us started on bigger boobs
Plus, everyone knows underboob is the new sideboob
Luckily, we know everyone else is having just as awful a time
And then there’s always that ‘Where’s my hug?’ guy getting too close to our sweaty backs
Remember when we used to think about other things?
Maybe if we just pretend our sweat is tears?
And the worst part is that there’s literally no escape
At least you can take a nice cold shower, right?
Too bad that’ll eventually wear off
Just climb on into that warm bed, it’ll all be okay
You’ll probably only have about 75 summers left anyway.