The new Ken doll looks like the fuckboy of our nightmares

Yesterday, Mattel released a new line of Fashionista Barbie and Ken dolls, including one that should never be given to innocent, impressionable children – the fuckboy with a man bun.

This new Ken looks like our worst nightmare. He looks like the type of guy who texts you ‘u up?’ at 2:30am. Then, when you don’t have an orgasm, he wants to talk about how Nietzsche says nothing really exists – including female pleasure. The next morning, he slides out on his longboard to go to an indie movie.

Before you @ me, realize that Twitter agrees

Ken is definitely a fuckboy

No way he has such good eyebrows if he wasn’t.

His Hawaiian shirt screams ‘I have a travel tumblr blog’

And a religious studies degree, if you’re lucky.

Fuckboy Ken definitely drinks craft beer

He drinks scotch too, with mustache-shaped ice cubes.

He definitely never texts back

Too busy looking at his gym selfies on Instagram.

Fuckboy Ken is also a misogynist

Because what fuckboy isn’t TBH.

He loves to mansplain

Honestly, I’m triggered by this whole thing.

Mattel needs to take these dolls off the shelves ASAP. It’s a public health crisis. Don’t subject us to more fuckboys. My heart can’t take it.