‘I’m almost as dark as you’ and everything else you shouldn’t say to a woman of color this summer

I’m prepared to be painted as the angry black girl, that’s fine. But it’s time to call attention to the way I, and most other black girls, bite our tongues every summer.

This is everything you shouldn’t say to women of color this summer.

‘Do you tan?’

“Tan” is like the word “nude” for black girls — it’s not inclusive. So in short, unless you’re light skinned, then usually no, we don’t “tan.” But don’t get it twisted. I’m on the darker spectrum, so I simply get darker… very dark, very fast. Give me 10 minutes outside and I’ll have a tan line, but my skin is not and will never be tan. 

‘You’re so lucky you don’t burn’

I’m really not sure where this rumor started that black women are immune to the sun. I wish the sun were racist, but instead it gives EXTRA love to WoC.  It’s simple science: which gets hotter faster, a white car or a black car? Do you wear a white shirt or a black shirt to stay cool? You may not be able to visibly see the burn, but you better believe if we’re not putting on SPF 50 or higher every hour we will feel the burn.

‘I’m practically black by the end of the summer’

No you’re not. We didn’t choose our skin color or all the discrimination that comes with it. We didn’t choose to succumb to annoying stereotypes like having the innate ability to dance or having a fat ass. Remember when we all laughed at Rachel Dolezal because she claimed she was transracial? You can’t just jump races because you acquired some melanin over the summer.

‘What happens if you get your hair wet . . . do you get an afro?’

What happens if your hair gets wet, Becky? Does it frizz up, does it fall flat, or do you have perfect beach waves? Black girls aren’t one single doppelgänger who experience the same exact things. We are individuals. And why do you care if someone doesn’t want water in their expensive weave, doesn’t want to reverse all the time they spent upkeeping their natural hair texture or simply doesn’t like going in the water?

‘Ok, but my other black friend said . . .’

CC my comments above, I’m not going over this again.

‘Do you swim?’

The ability to swim is a choice. There is no gene that say’s black people can’t swim. There are white people, Hispanic people, Asian people and black people that can’t swim and there are those who can. I’m sure there are statistics somewhere about this data, but I honestly don’t care enough to confirm. As far as I know, amphibians, fish, and dogs are the only ones with the natural ability.

‘Wait, let’s compare arms… I’m almost there’

This mainly applies to dark-skinned females, but please, just stop. You aren’t almost anything. We. Are. Two. Different. Races. When you get dark, we get darker, so can we not entertain this idea you have that by the end of summer we will be the same color. It doesn’t work that way.

OK, I’m done.

I’m sure there are many more annoying phrases that are escaping me at the moment, but let’s all bathe in the summer sun, kick back, enjoy outdoor concerts together and create good vibes and avoid them all.