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If you take your coffee black turn yourself in now because you’re probably a raging psychopath
Finally, we have receipts
There's something about coffee lovers that's unnerving to begin with.
It might be the ostentatious way they order their double-triple latte as they glance about the room challenging any following customer to outdo them in espresso shots, or it could just be the fact that caffeine transforms them into an entirely different person. But now our suspicions have been confirmed, and we can rest assured knowing we were in fact being gaslighted.
Because, according to a study published in the journal Appetite, if someone enjoys the bitter taste of coffee — and particularly if they take it black — there's a good chance they're either a psychopath, or exhibit psychopathic tendencies. Sound familiar?
The study says people who enjoy it are positively associated with malevolent personality traits, "with the most robust relation to everyday sadism and psychopathy.”
500 men and women were asked to fill out a questionnaire about foods and drinks they like — coffee, olives, gin, grapefruits — and then asked to fill out a questionnaire that measured personality traits, like Machiavellianism, psychopathy and narcissism.
Those who liked bitter foods — black coffee in particular — scored far higher in terms of aggressive and psychopathic tendencies.
So, if you or someone you know is suffering from an addiction to coffee, turn yourselves in now. You're doing the rest of the world a favor, because you're probably a massive psychopath, and if you aren't yet, you might be.