Hate to break it to you, but being perpetually late isn’t a quirky personality trait
Sorry, you’re rude
by Jenn Ficarra
Move aside, drinking wine and being messy! There’s a new annoying personality trait in town and it’s called tardiness. Somehow, someway, being late stopped being rude and started being… the norm?
People run around exclaiming that being late is who they are — it's part of their peeersonaaaaality and they can't help it. They've started acting as if being late isn't a choice but is inherent — something they just can't help.
But I'm calling bullshit. Being late isn't cute. It's not quirky. It's not a personality trait. Being late is rude. Plain and simple. And the reign of tardiness as personality needs to end. Today.
Being 5-10 minutes late is something that happens. Sometimes the trains are delayed or there's a car accident or you forgot your keys. Point being we have all been late once upon a time. But that's not where the problem lies. The problem lies with those who think being forty minutes late to a dinner reservation is fine because it's "just who they are." It's the people who think 1 p.m. means 1:30 p.m.
It's the people who fail to see tardiness for what it is: dickish.
being late says a lot about your personality and how much you care
— queen c ? (@slyhes) September 20, 2017
I'm not even sorry for always being late. It's a personality trait.
— Savannah Vigil (@__savannahpaige) September 28, 2017
Going to spin class is not a personality. Drinking wine is not a personality. And, certainly, being late is not a personality. But it's not our fault — well for those of you latecomers it's totally your fault — but it's also society's fault.
Look at the media — Ilana from Broad City makes being late seem like a desirable trait. Serena van der Woodsen's tardiness was just considered part of her, not something she could help. She was beautiful, why expect anything more from her? Hannah Horvath and Carrie Bradshaw were too selfish to think the world didn't revolve around them — time was theirs to control, not the other way around.
We've enabled this rude, disrespectful behavior for too long. It's become status quo for people to show up late without any explanation other than "that's just who they are." Well, I'm sorry but if that's just who you are then who you are isn't good enough. See, these little things we think are quirks — like being messy, lazy, and late — stop being quirks and start becoming annoying vices once adulthood roles around.
If you know that you're a person who takes a long time to get ready, give yourself more time. If you're always late because you just don't care then just don't go. Stop showing up late and, instead, just don't show up at all. They both send the same message: you're a shitty person but at least without you there people can still enjoy themselves.
Being late is the difference between making a great first impression and a bad one. Being late can be the difference between a date going well and a date going poorly. Being late is the difference between a lot of things. And when you're late, you're throwing away opportunity.
We all know that even if you start to set your alarm earlier you're still going to end up being late. We all know that no matter what, you just don't really care about being late. And that's fine. It says a lot about who you are as a person that being tardy is a choice.
But I want you to know, from the bottom of my always-on-time heart, that when you say being late is part of your personality and people laugh they're not laughing with you. They're laughing at you because you sound ridiculous.
Being late is not a personality trait, it's just rude.