Guess how much these insane, giant body-pants cost and then tell me if god exists
Science may have gone too far
A new "minimal jumpsuit" by ASOS has sent the entire internet into a frenzied panic as everyone competes to figure out why on this godless Earth anybody would ever need need pants for their entire body instead of just their legs.
First Vogue was pitching us arm-tights, and now we're getting body-pants stuffed down our impressionable little throats — pretty soon we're going to be wearing leggings as hats, and once that happens we'll know 2017 got to us just in the nick of time. This must be why The Weeknd and Katy Perry are suddenly dating.
asos pants are W A C C
— aldok2 (@fuckingkris) November 21, 2017
The jumpsuit which is currently going for $55 has already become a meme, with people calling the store out, saying, "I see you ASOS this is just big trousers," and the zipper and button front have lived to tell the tale.
I see you ASOS this is just big trousers pic.twitter.com/IZrkx1WHrZ
— Niamh Walsh (@NiamhAWalsh) November 17, 2017
Twitter users are now furiously racing against the clock to figure out who might be able to put this long-legged look to use, and they've already come up with a few possibilities.
New ASOS pants designed by Chloe Moretz? pic.twitter.com/04iM0rmqWd
— Charlie Nash (@MrNashington) November 17, 2017
You can take the ASOS jumpsuit and use it as pants for that tall legged bear pic.twitter.com/BjSTtPC5Qk
— Comedy Marathon (@comedy_marathon) November 19, 2017
If nothing else, this discovery has at least allowed us to pay homage to one of the greatest YouTube videos of our time — weird girl dancing — which is something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season if you have absolutely nothing and nobody else to celebrate.
Even in the darkest of times, she's always been there to show us the light.
Besides, with the winter season fully upon us, this all-encompassing #look could be the newest cozy trend we've been searching for.
Perhaps the pockets are even large enough for us to finally fit our phones into, since we know we aren't fitting them in our jeans.
Blake, there’s people that are dying
The actress tries out for the Oppression Olympics
by Amanda Ross
SPOTTED: Our favorite Upper East Sider bizarrely grasping at some perceived slight, all in the name of feminism. Blake Lively is currently on a press tour promoting her new movie, A Simple Favor. Have you seen it yet? Yeah, me neither. Blake, known for her love of fashion, has worn many suits during the tour,…
MOOD: Real Housewife Kim Zolciak photoshopped her infant’s lips to make them look bigger
This is the realest
by Harry Shukman
We should never have expected anything less from Kim Zolciak, the surgery princess of the Real Housewives oeuvre, but she has edited a photo of her infant daughter to make her lips look bigger.Look at this throwback portrait of Ariana Biermann, posted by Atlanta power mom Kim, a couple days ago: Now look at the…
This brand’s attempt to be woke backfired with a horrific, fat-shaming sweatshirt
I’m sorry, WHAT?
by Nian Hu
These days, most brands are trying to be more inclusive and body positive. From Dove's Real Beauty Campaign to Aerie's #AerieREAL campaign, companies everywhere are scrambling to appeal to women who aren't a size zero.And while we can (and should!) criticize these brands for only pandering to the body positive movement in a shallow attempt…