Stanford rapist/human garbage Brock Turner is trying to get his sexual assault conviction overturned

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Stanford rapist/human garbage Brock Turner is trying to get his sexual assault conviction overturned

Just wait ’til you hear his ‘reasoning’

Apparently, virtually zero punishment was too much for this sentient cotton ball to handle because Brock Turner and his lawyers filed a motion to get his sexual assault convictions overturned yesterday.

A primer: In 2015, Turner raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster after a frat party at Stanford University. He was convicted of sexual assault. (Also, quick note here, y'all: You've probably seen some other outlets not call him a rapist, and that's because he was never charged with rape — only "intent to commit" rape. The definition of rape varies from state to state, but the FBI defines it nationally as any kind of unwanted penetration. He had sex with a woman who was passed out. I don't care what California says, this motherfucker's a rapist. Fuck him.)

The motion to overturn that guilty conviction is based around what his lawyers are calling "a detailed and lengthy set of lies" surrounding the case. John Tompkins, his legal advisor, said, "What we are saying is that what happened is not a crime."

So among these "detailed and lengthy set of lies"? His lawyers claim the assault happened not behind a dumpster, but out in the open. I must have missed the part in the California penal code where it said rape is totally chill if it's in plain sight but go off, I guess.

The lawyers are really pinning all their hopes on this dumpster thing, like that's their opposite-of-a-smoking-gun. They want all three of his convictions (intent to rape an unconscious woman, sexually penetrating a woman with a foreign object, and sexually penetrating an unconscious woman with a foreign object) overturned so he doesn't have to register as a sex offender. Even though like…he is a sex offender.

I'd say there's no chance they're going to let his guy off because he should absolutely be in a sex offender database, but let's look at what happened last time: The judge was worried a longer prison sentence would have a "severe impact" on Brock "Scumbag" Turner, and let him go free after just three months in jail.

No word on the severe impact the rape had on his victim, though.

At least we'll always have this horrible mugshot of him next to the literal textbook definition of rape in school.

@itsamandaross

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