What your childhood favorite Disney Princess says about who you are now

If you grew up with the Disney classics — and I’m sure you did because without iPads our parents had no other way to force us to shut the hell up for more than an hour at a time — you probably had a favorite Disney princess.

You wore her shirts, dressed as her for halloween, had her bedsheets and masturbated for the first time to the thought of her prince. But a lot of that has probably, subconsciously, carried through to today to make you the very specific kind of girl you are — whether you meant for it to, or not.

Here’s the kind of girl you are based on your Disney princess of choice:

BELLE: The Activist

You loved Belle because she was smart and sensible, because what’s more reasonable than trying to fuck a giant man-lion hybrid who’s mean?If a popular movie is based on a book, better believe you’ve read it and are ready to bring that fact up at a moment’s notice. You post a ton of Change.org petitions on Facebook, and you’ve got a “professional Twitter” that you just use to retweet Sheryl Sandberg and Chelsea Clinton. You’ve dumped guys because they weren’t “serious” enough for you even though you don’t even know how to cook meat at home without putting yourself at risk for salmonella — you’re not as mature as you think you are, babe. You’ve worn leggings with shorts in the last 6 months and you don’t even feel bad about it, and your Spotify is always on private so people don’t know what kind of lame music you actually listen to.

POCAHONTAS: The Hippie

You loved Pocahontas because you always wanted to be able to be actual friends with wild animals. Fuck that David-Spade-looking colonizer John Smith! You would never be caught dead in an outfit without at least one piece of clothing that could be described as “flowy.” You love beads, smoking weed and telling off your friends for wearing real leather/fur. You’ve dated at least one white person with dreadlocks, and one time when you were on acid you cried about the imminent extinction of polar bears. You brew your own kombucha and won’t shut the fuck up about it. You don’t believe in the two-party system, and you constantly attack people with differing political beliefs on Facebook. You rag on your corporate friends for "selling out" in college, but messaged them on FB the other day for some career advice on the DL. Sage cleansing wands don’t grow on trees, you know?

CINDERELLA: The Sorority Girl

You love the idea of getting swept off of your feet by a handsome stranger and then getting married like, two weeks later so it makes sense that growing up you were obsessed with Cinderella. You still use Pinterest and think that everything not nailed down should have your monogram. And speaking of which, you can’t seriously date a guy whose last name (read: your future last name) would result in an ugly post-nup monogram. You’re probably in a sorority and are hyper-organized, like your Lilly planner is full of cute little stickers. To you, marriage isn’t just a natural next-step you do because you like the person you’re with and your parents want you to buy property — it’s like the thing. You are absolutely obsessed with a T-Swiftian idea of a perfect romance, and you prefer the term hopeful romantic to hopeless.

JASMINE: The Hoe

You loved Jasmine’s fierce sense of independence — and her slutty costume, and that's still how you are now. You wear crop-tops all year long — like bitch, put some fucking pants on, there’s snow on the ground. You’re always reblogging and favoriting artsy BDSM pictures, and you love to get choked during sex. You never save numbers in your phone and, and you have a ton of platonic friends who would jump at the chance to be with you, but they know that you’d cut their dicks off if they ever tried to make a move. You’ve deleted and re-downloaded Tinder three times, but still tell everyone you’re not into meeting people online. This still doesn’t stop you from bitching to everyone about how you’re hot enough to be on Raya.

ARIEL: The Perma-Girlfriend

You loved Ariel’s devotion to true love, which still makes total sense to you. Hello, Prince Eric is a fucking dreamboat. And it had a lasting impact on you because you are so into your relationship, everything else falls by the wayside. You switch up your style with every new person you start seeing and have subsequently gone through a grunge phase, a stoner phase and a preppy phase in the past 6 months. You ask “what are we?” on date three, and you take Cosmo’s sex tips very seriously. You spend all your time in the shower imagining how to win fake arguments with your fake partner, and you think that you and your love of the moment are like Chrissy Teigen and John Legend. Unfortunately, you’re more like Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna (RIP).

MULAN: The Late Bloomer

You didn’t know why you loved Mulan so much at the time — it definitely wasn’t that ugly-ass dragon — but now it all makes sense. You didn’t come out until you were 23 but it now you’re GAYEST person you know. You and your girlfriend look exactly alike…and so did all of your exes. You feel a lot of feels and want to get serious with everyone you meet right away, which is kind of a problem because you have crushes on everyone. You’re the one at work that everyone comes to with their problems because you’ll actually keep those venting sessions private, but when it comes to personal drama in your friend group you’re the queen of “Well you didn’t hear this from me, BUT…” You act super tough but you’re the softest bitch in the world. Like, I will bet my entire year’s salary you’ve cried because something was “so cute” that it actually hurt your heart.

SNOW WHITE: The Still-Emo Girl

You loved Snow White because you always thought of yourself as the token freaky friend, until you got to college and realized literally everyone else has the same exact same complex. You refuse to throw out your graphic band t-shirts from 7 years ago because you’re convinced you might still need them someday. You’re convinced you’re "too fucked up to love" even though if you just tried going on a date everything would definitely be fine, but you’d rather think you were meant to die alone. You probably to some expensive private school like NYU but pretended to hate it the entire time, and had a lip or eyebrow piercing, but took it out because it got infected and you’re squeamish. Still, you dream of having a secret inner lip tattoo that says something like “CUNT” or “PISS.”

SLEEPING BEAUTY: The Party Animal

Princess Aurora was gorgeous, mysterious, and spent half the movie passed out in bed. Kind of like you right after the pregame, right? You bring a ton of drugs to parties but are super stingy about sharing even though everyone else always shares with you. You broke two iPhones in one week so now you’re always messaging your friends from other people’s Facebooks like, “Hey, it’s Caroline on Amanda’s phone” because you can’t be bothered to go to the Apple store. You’ll show up to a party late and fall asleep on the couch because you’re still so fucked up from boozy brunch and the yacht you scammed your way onto by snapping your tits to some guy you met on Tinder. And you have a platinum account on Uber because you’ve literally never gotten to any location by yourself.