Here’s your final horoscope of 2017 — and we’re going out with a bang
I’m excited/scared for all of us
by Amanda Ross
Here I sit in the hair salon getting my naturally-brown hair painted a blonde nature never intended it to be, and analyzing the stars to figure out what we're in for this final week of a very, very shitty year. These next years days are going to be wild — I can't lie to you, it's not all great. But it will be the final bang before the incredible rebirth of 2018.
Here's everything the stars have in store for you, featuring illustrations by Lucy Turnbull for babe.
This week, the final enemy to face before the new year is…you. All you've been doing these past few months is live recklessly and blame everyone and everything for the chaos you've created. Look yourself in the mirror and have a serious talk with yourself about you love life, career, and finances. Aries, you have all the power and it can either destroy your world or create a new one. The ramifications of previous months' bad choices will bubble up this week. Deal with them honestly and immediately and you'll wake up on January 1 a brand-new woman.
More than anything, you crave stability. It's in your heart of hearts and no amount of swiping through Tinder or ignoring your mom's phone calls will replace what you really want and need: a core group to love you unconditionally. Taurus, I know you. You hold onto people who aren't good for you, who you should have left behind years ago because you think there still might be something there. I'm going to be honest with you: there isn't. They don't care, and you shouldn't either. Don't get drunk and text them. Don't "try one more time." Delete their number, and feel cleansed. You deserve someone who will always be there.
Beneath that sex appeal and look-at-me! attitude is someone plagued by self-doubt. A past insecurity, maybe even from decades ago, is still trying desperately to keep its claws dug into you — and this is especially prone to resurface over the holidays when you're surrounded by people who used to know you. The old you. But that's not who you are anymore, do you understand me? You're not that person. Get a piece of paper and write it the fuck down. You are not that person. You've been through it all this year, and come out stronger the other end. Make it through this week and 2018 is yours for the taking.
I wish I could give you the biggest hug because no one deserves it more than you do. You're empathy brought to life. It's why people love you, but it's why you feel so tired. And not just tired in the physical sense. You want to solve everyone's problems, to carry them on your already-overladen shoulders. Eventually, you will collapse. This week, surrounded by family, please remember that their problems and their shortcomings are not yours. If you keep on like you are, you will break. And you're far too beautiful of a soul to shatter because of someone else.
Stop. I mean right now. Stop and take a breath. No matter how much you busy yourself with work and plans and presenting a perfect image to Instagram, you can't fill that world-weary hole you've been dragging around for three years now. Think about what truly fulfills you. If it's work then fine, but what about it specifically? Is it your need to be needed? Remember that even if you stopped everything right now, it would be OK. You can let go, because the loyal friends you've cultivated wouldn't let it all fall to pieces if you needed a break. Ask for help if you need it, especially this week. You're of no use to anyone if you're burnt out trying to take care of everyone.
You need a release. And it can be in the form of everything. You're so focused on your meticulous lifestyle, and your internal monologue probably sounds something like this: What do I have to do today? What am I wearing? No, that's ugly. No thanks, too many calories. Sure, I'll come. Fuck I don't want to come. What am I going to do? This week, Virgo, do something for you: drop the act. Read a shitty book just because it's entertaining and you love it. Watch a rom-com you pretend to hate. That's what you just have to stop doing this coming year: Sacrificing your own pleasure to protect the image you've carefully curated. Your creativity is so beautiful when you feed your soul what it wants.
Reality check: Not everyone likes you, and that's something you've learned this year. And it's a good thing that not everyone loves you. I know that you crave accepting and adoration from everyone you've ever met, but how are you supposed to find the people with whom your soul connects if you're putting your energy into all the wrong people. You know how they say do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life? It's like that: do what you love, and the people who love you will manifest. This week, evaluate who you are. Next week, make it happen. Follow your bliss, and people will follow you.
You've fucked up so many things this year because you tried to use what you though was that trademark Scorpio intuition to cheat and cut the line. But it wasn't — it was insecurity, and you played yourself. While it's true that you are the most intuitive sign, your obsession with trying to stay one step ahead has really hurt you especially when it comes love and trust. One of my favorite lyrics is from a song called "Let's Get Married" by my favorite band, Bleachers. They sing, "I know it's bad when we look out, but bad, bad people don't live in our house." It can be hard to trust, to believe in the inherent good of people (well, men especially) but it's critical that you open yourself up to the people who want to know you.
Are you tired? Because I'm tired for you. Sag, your natually adventurous spirit can be really, really fun. You're the one proposing spontaneous roadtrips and jumping into the pool with your clothes on. But being the life of the party can really take a toll on you, especially as the end of party season draws nearer. I know FOMO is a term that's thrown around a lot, but that really is one of your biggest problems: you're so concerned with missing out, you actually end up missing out on the alone time everyone needs. This is going to sound crazy, but I think you should sit New Year's Eve out. Enter 2018 with a clear head and full heart.
Have you stopped working for one second this holiday break? Other than to read this horoscope, that is. A Cap's ambitious nature is one of the reasons you make such amazing partners (like, all of my exes are Capricorns) but you don't have to be the best at everything, OK? This entire year has been a competition for you: You want to be the best at work, school, the gym. You want the most Instagram followers. You want the best end-of-yea performance review. But what does that bring you? You feel like buzzing glow for about five minutes and it's on to chasing the next high. This week, do me a favor: be bad at something. Paint a shitty painting. Read an easy book. Play a video game on an easy level. Care less, and you'll feel so much more.
You've tried on so many personalities this year, do might not even know who you are anymore. But that's just the thing — you can be all the things. This is one of your most amazing gifts: you can be every kind of girl at once and still remain so perfectly you. There's a catch, though: you can't tailor your personality around different groups of people because that's how you earn a reputation for being a fake. If you act one way around your high school friends, one way around your college friends, one way at work, one way at a certain bar, that's the way you lose yourself. Aquarius, you are all the things. Be all the things.
Just as more stoic signs need to loosen up, you need to do the opposite: you must try to harden your shell just a bit or you'll break. One of the most beautiful things about Pisces women is their emotion and creativity, but they will eat you alive if you don't learn to control them. This week in particular, as the universe prepares to transition into the new year, you'll be feeling not only your incredibly depth of emotion but the feelings if those around you. Don't take everything to heart. Sometimes, people act they way they do without reason, and that reason isn't your responsibility.
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