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Kylie Jenner gave birth weeks ago
Are you even paying attention?
After days, weeks and months of grasping blindly at any and every non-existent clue that Kylie "Walking Uterus" Jenner is as close to busting as her older sister's surrogate, we not only have rock-hard evidence but we're pretty sure she's already popped.
Okay, the evidence is more flaccid than haaard, but it's still pretty incriminating if you ask me. We all know the annual Karjenner Christmas card is an age-old tradition, much like relying on a rabid beaver to predict when our winter will end, and throwing rice at brides. So we also know their MOMager Kris Jenner would wax off one of her own eyebrows before letting a single girl, especially a favorite like Kylie, miss it.
So then why, over the course of 25 days, was she absent from every single shot if she wasn't either dead or giving birth? Allow me to direct your attention to our first bit of evidence: Day 24.
If Kylie isn't standing on the other side of this frame with a baby in hand, why would nearly half of them be staring at her? As for the rest, Kim is too busy serving, Saint and Dream don’t have any idea what's going on, Khloé is panicking about how one of these will be hers soon and Kendall is photoshopped in as usual.
Either way, rumors of Khloé's pregnancy surfaced after rumors of Kylie's, and as of last week Khloé reveled she's already rocking a massive bump. TMZ reported the news of Khloé's impending birth in September, claiming she was already three months pregnant — which means she'd have her baby in March or April. So that means the way-more-pregnant Kylie is either about to give birth, or more realistically, already has. Besides, these photos were taken months ago because Khloé isn't showing at all, but they're still hiding Kylie??? I don't think so.
And after seeing pics from Jordyn's birthday party in September where Kylie looks pregnant af and the video of Kylie in the silver dress from last January where she looks like she's in the early stages of baby-ness, I wouldn't be surprised if she gave birth in October or November and we're just finding out about it now.
If anyone could pull it off, it’s a Jenner.