People are MELTING DOWN trying to figure out how this lipstick stain got inside a toilet

Please, I never ask for help but this time it's really important. I, along with the rest of the internet, cannot figure out how in God's name this perfectly-formed lipstick kiss-stain got stuck to the inside of a toilet bowl.

Sure, I have a few theories — the bowl was created around the previously kiss-stained porcelain, or it's actually just period blood that looks like a kiss — but it still feels half baked, like we haven't quite gotten to the bottom of this stinky situation.

The best theory so far is 'blotting paper stain'

One brave woman explained how she thinks the kiss may have appeared there after a woman blotted her lipstick before throwing the tissue in the toilet. It would've had to stick to the side for a while, but hey, maybe she just forgot to flush.

But the men aren't convinced

And they probably know better, so let's see what they have to say about it.

Some are taking the easy out and blaming 'alcohol'

But that still doesn't explain how the kiss is so perfectly formed. After a gin and tonic (or three) I'm lucky to know where the bathroom is, much less where my lipstick is so I can re-apply it.

While others think the cleaner is in love with their job

But I don't care how "clean" this toilet looks — no toilet is clean enough to kiss. Kind of like most men.

Of course 'bizarre porno' is never out of the question

Aren't we all into humiliation? At least a little bit?

But I want the rights to the motion picture for this story

Once uncovered, this tale will undoubtedly be passed down generation after generation. Can you say "Cash cow"?

If Aaahh!!! Real Monsters doesn't already own them

They were kissing toilets before it was cool.

I have to wonder if this is the new 'Dress?'

Do you remember last year when the internet was thrust into chaos as it attempted to figure out whether a dress was blue and black or white and gold?

Either way, even if you do figure out our new toilet riddle, don't worry about telling everyone. Some would be happy to spend the rest of their existence not knowing how it happened.

But I, for one, care about the truth.

@carolinephinney