Every thought you’ll have that proves you’re turning into your mom


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Every thought you’ll have that proves you’re turning into your mom

You inspect fruit before purchasing it

I used to define being an adult differently. I always thought you just knew you were there when none of your interests made you happy anymore and you stuck to a routine because it's the only thing you knew how to do. Now that I'm here, I know it's so much more than that.

Here's every thought you’ll have that proves you’re turning into your mom:

You look forward to grocery shopping – A full fridge? Name a better duo, I dare you.

You appreciate having just one, single drink – Hangovers aren't as fun anymore.

You save the 'nice, sturdy' bags from the store – "Look at how many cans it can hold!"

You start saying things like 'I don't know about thaaaaaaat' – Even though you used to roll your eyes at her rampant skepticism towards anything and everything.

You enjoy the taste of bitter things – Coffee, olives, alcohol, disappointment.

You no longer know a single musical guest on SNL – What is a Musical.ly?

You get psyched about going to Crate and Barrel – Anything home decor related excites you in a way it never has before.

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Buying shelving units is the best part of your week – Just organizing things in general makes you feel really warm inside.

You bully yourself into getting your flu shot – After a long call with her, TBF.

You realize people are going for handshakes not high fives – Sometimes you mix it up on them though.

You listen to podcasts for fun – Never thought you'd see the day.

You know the channel number for CNN – But not Disney Channel.

You suddenly like North Face – Anything that'll keep you warm really. You're tired of being so cold all the time.

You know when you need a new toothbrush – Without anybody else telling you.

You shop for practicality when it comes to shoes – The old you wouldn't have been caught DEAD in Teva boots.

For some reason you also like mayo now?? – You knew your adult palette would show its face eventually.

You log into LinkedIn before logging into anything else – Twitter is always second though.

You finish entire tubes of chapstick – You're not made of money, OK?

You inspect fruit before purchasing it – Who are you? Nancy Drew?

You book your haircuts in advance — You know, instead of just walking in and hoping they have a space for you.

You understand not purchasing a pet on a whim – After years of watching my mom walk that dog I made her get, all I can say is I'll literally never do that.

Same goes for tattoos – But you still think they're cool AF on the DL.

You also know Gnocchi with meatballs isn't a meal to brag about – It's still pretty lit though.

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You know people don't just 'get rich' – All of the whispered fights at the dinner table suddenly make so much sense.

You realize you have to unlearn a bunch of shit other adults taught you – They didn't have any idea what they were talking about either.

You can fall asleep literally anywhere – Car? Dinner table? You name it.

You now understand that bitchy girl in middle school had shit going on at home – Kids aren't just born evil.

You panic when you sleep in late – Used to love sleeping until 4 in the afternoon, eating and then going back to sleep again.

You take a cute selfie and wish you had MORE clothes on – There are too many youngins following you.

You get excited about the thread count in your sheets – You didn't even used to use bed sheets.

Shower beers have become shower coffees – OK, sometimes still beer.

You can no longer run on 4-6 hours of sleep – Not that you want to.

You set alarms on your days off – Even though your body would wake you up anyway.

You fill online shopping carts and then CLOSE the browser – Like you know what you need versus what you want and it's insane.

You understand Microsoft Word isn’t free – And you'll be the one paying for it soon.

Too bad you still get ID'd though.


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