You’re about to become an absolute sex demon next week — and you can blame it all on the moon
That potent cosmic energy
As a water sign, I already blame a lot of things on them moon: my emotions, my mood, my inability to be open and intimate with the people I care about most. It's nice — like a giant floating orb-shaped scapegoat that I'm allowed to blame all my shortcomings on.
But, us water signs are about to have to share with all you fire and air signs because the moon is working its hardest to turn every single one of us into a horny, little sex-fiend.
like if you're into outer space, and rough sex!
— dgypsy🧙🏼♀️🦖☀️ (@akdianepalmer) January 22, 2018
On the evening of Jan 31, all of these sexual emotions will peak with the super blue blood moon, disrupting our sleep patterns and making us stir-crazy; all we'll want to do is stay up and hit it, so alert any "special sex friends" now. They'll want to be prepared. It's the first time since 1866 a blue moon total lunar eclipse has occurred, so we have no idea what we're in for.
And while there's no technical evidence to back up these claims, the potent cosmic energy will obviously heighten our sex drive, making us more anxious than usual to get it on. Sure, this energy will also effect us in other ways — causing us to wake up early and be more productive in our working day — but I had to make it about sex.
Would you really have read all the way to the end if I said you were going to put more work in? Fucking nerd.