Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they’re as ready for February as you are


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Your weekly horoscopes are here, and they’re as ready for February as you are

‘New month, who dis?’

Three. More. Days.

Is it just me, or does it feel like it's been January for four months? I swear I've dyed my hair two colors, added some new ink to my arm, moved apartments, switched boyfriends, fucked a semi-professional tennis player, completed three-and-a-half juice cleanses and spoken to my grandma on the phone twice. Literally anything to make this month crawl at a slightly faster pace.

But luckily, this week we get a taste of February! The month of rejection, groundhogs, and football. Here's what the stars have in store for you, featuring illustrations by Lucy Turnbull for babe:


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Feelings of nostalgia are for some reason unavoidable, and it's not worth trying to distract yourself from them. It's okay to miss where you were before you were here, it's okay to miss the trees on your street at home and the way they glowed when the sun hit them just right and it's okay to ache for old relationships that were once at the center of your world. Just because our belongings and locations change doesn't mean our souls do, and this week your soul feels a million miles from home. Go through old photos, message someone you haven't spoken to in "literally forever," watch Gossip Girl or some other show that used to mark your Mondays after school, or try your hand at a dish your mom used to make. You don't have to leave everything in the past just because you have a new life now. All of those "things" still made you who you are.


For someone who's usually so head-strong, this'll be a challenge but you'd benefit from letting your crush call the shots this week. When it comes to relationships, you're obsessed with wearing the pants — and by "wearing the pants" I mean controlling every, single fucking minuscule detail. But it can be exhausting always deciding what's happening. Ask them where they want to meet for a change, wait for them to text you about plans (and see if they even do) and don't order an Uber all the way to their place just because they said "come overrrrr." Pour yourself a glass of something warm and non-alcoholic (okay, maybe a little alcohol), settle down with a season or two of Broad City, and refuse to move until they come to you. You may realize you've been exerting energy they'd never be willing to.


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This week is about accepting rejection. Or not! But that's for you to find out. I get it, nobody likes being turned away from, but you've been tip-toeing around something you want to say instead of just coming out with it and for fuck's sake we're all tired of watching! Plus, what's the worst that happens? They turn on their heels and walk the other way. You've always feared being tied down anyway, and this would serve as a perfect reminder of why. Just promise not to do absolutely any of this over text — it's the easy way out, and leaves so much room for misinterpretation. Face your fears in person, and then walk away with your chin up regardless of what happens. In the grand scheme of things, this is no skin off your nose. But it might be some off theirs.


I know you're a water sign, but Jesus you're emotional this week. You've already teared up twice for literally no reason and it's only Monday. But what are you so mad about? Do you actually know what's upsetting you right now? Or do you just enjoy having something to be upset about? Figure it out soon before it turns someone you care about against you. Stop listening to all the sad songs, try watching something that actually makes you laugh, and make time to go out with friends this week. You've been spending too much time with your own thoughts and that'll make just about anybody crazy — especially you, little critter. You're not the things that make you sad, even if you'd love to be.


You're feeling strung-out for cash at the moment, but this is temporary. You have no idea how to decline invitations, but is it really worth going out if you're going to be stressed about the bill the entire time? This is a good week for you to get your finances back in order before February. Prep some more meals in advance, refrain from impulse tattoos, skip out on dates where you think they won't pay (smh), and try saying no to brunch this weekend. You'll feel left out watching your friends' Snap Stories for a few hours, but you can put your phone away and do literally anything else. Toss your headphones in and go for a walk, spend time alone, look at some art — there are a million activities that won't cost you an arm and a leg. Plus, now you'll have extra cash to start February with.


You're feeling secretive in your romancing this week, but that's all part of the appeal, isn't it? It sounds morbid, but we all start to dislike somebody when we know every single aspect about them — how they chew, how they snore, how their voice cracks when they tell you they never loved you anyway. There's nothing wrong with keeping a few things under lock and key until you're sure your crush is ready to handle them. This week is all about mystery and intrigue, and you're the one nobody can seem to figure out. It's okay to make some things up when you mean well. Just be sure not to string too many lies together or you may have a hard time breaking free from the web when the time comes.


Considering snooping, are we? There's something you're dying to know that you can't seem to work out yourself and it's killing you. Even though the best way to find out information is to turn to the person it's about and ask, you're not quite sure they'd be honest with you and trust isn't a risk you're willing to take. Just be careful. If this person finds out you're asking around or even nosing around privately, this could spell the end for you. And even if it doesn't end in tragedy, remember that people are usually hiding things for a reason and you aren't always going to like what you find. If you want this relationship to go anywhere down the road, you'd be smart to tell them what's bothering you now.


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Try not to seem so businesslike, will you?! I mean in actual business that's fine, but when you treat talking to your crush like you're taking to a boss, or scheduling dates they same way you'd schedule a conference meeting, it sucks the damn fun out of everything. Try being more spontaneous this week. Text someone out of the blue and ask them to meet you now," go out and get a little more than tipsy on a weekday, and fuck it! Show up unannounced on your crush's doorstep if you want to! There's nothing sexier or more arousing than being surprised, and lately everything you've done has been hyper-calculated.


You're having a hard time deciding whether you want to keep making room for someone else or carry on alone, and that's fine. Just because your friends are dating other people or your family expects you to be nearly wed at this point doesn't mean you actually have to be. An adventurous spirit, you've rarely looked back on a past relationship fondly. Sure, you learned a lot about someone else, but you also learned a lot about why you didn't like them. Relationships take energy and time and that's not something you have a lot of. Now the question is: Is your current endeavor any different? It might be, but until you can asses why you so dislike feeling trapped, you're going to have a hard time working it out.


You feel 100 percent free to be yourself lately, and your unwillingness to align with what others are doing is actually so attractive to everyone else. Just be careful that in all of this newfound "me time" you're not losing sight of the goal. Being independent and doing you is cool and all, but sometimes to rise up and get to where we want to be, we need to put on our adult pants and at least pretend to be a bit more straight-laced for a while. Believe me, it sucks, but once you get to the top you can wear and do whatever they hell you want because you'll be the one calling the shots. Scrub the chipped nail polish off, try a bit less eyeliner, and maybe change your weird handle on social. All eyes are on you right now, and people are judging you whether you know it or not.


Right now, celestial alignment is helping you to feel more secure not only in yourself but in your relationships with others. Because of this, now would be an ideal time for you to make any changes, big or small, or any other life adjustments you've been thinking about. Having The Talk with someone, looking for work elsewhere, changing up some of your living arrangements or even lobbing off a shit ton of hair. With everything else so secure, these modifications won't throw you for a loop they way they usually would. And with January (finally) coming to an end, you can consider February a fresh new slate, starting with this change.


You're realizing lately that love doesn’t always have to be so serious and I swear this is the best thing that could've happened to you. I know, you're emotional and usually end up investing more of yourself in relationships than you should, but then what are you left with when you walk away? A kind of empty shell and a lot of pieces to pick up? Friends you forgot about along the way, all those emails you forgot to answer while you were texting them instead, that promotion you let slip up? When you consider your relationships more casually, not only are they stronger but every other aspect of your life is as well. It's possible to care about someone while caring about yourself at the same time — and it makes you way more attractive, too.