Your weekly horoscopes are here, and it’s time to kick certain people to the curb
You know who I’m talking about
by The Tab
On Tuesday morning, a New Moon cycle begins, rejuvenating both your private and public life. Today is a good day to cleanse your home and clean out your contact list in preparation.
As the Aries New Moon cycle comes to an end, take a moment to think about what you've learned over the past few weeks. What issues have you overcome? What arguments could you have won? Now take that knowledge and channel it into your professional and personal life as the Taurus New Moon cycle begins. You'll come out of this one on top.
A New Moon cycle begins in your sign tomorrow, leaving you refreshed and ready to take on issues that've been haunting you for some time. With all of this newfound energy, face confrontation head-on instead of shying away from it. At your best, you're reliable, practical, ambitious and sensual so use this New Moon to seduce and win over. If it's ever gonna happen, it's now.
A Taurus New Moon is a time for indulgence — and if anyone deserves it, it's you. The Aries New Moon cycle was hard on you, and it's easy to see why. With all that fire and air, you probably couldn't catch a moment to breathe. But as earthy Taurus comes into play, you'll find yourself with (a liiiittle) more time on your hands. Get your hair cut, get a manicure, give yourself a facial. This is a time for cheat days full of chocolate, wine and Netflix. Take a breather, babe.
Cancers and Taureans are two peas in a pod so it makes sense that as the New Moon cycle begins in Taurus, you'll be feeling very at home. You both love to indulge and nest, and that's precisely what this cycle is about. It's about redecorating and making your space as you as possible before another New Moon sweeps in and pushes you off your feet. Don't let people make you feel bad for wanting to stay in. You need to recharge before you burn out.
Serenity, security, peace, and comfort are the name of the game for you as the New Moon cycles begins in Taurus tomorrow. So if you're wondering why the heck you still feel so scatterbrained, it's because today is the Moon's last day in Aries. Tensions will be high, everyone will think they're right, and you'll have a ton on your plate. Tomorrow, when it's all over, tell everyone you're staying in… for the rest of the week. You need to decompress.
Taureans are materialistic AF so as the New Moon Cycle begins in Taurus, you'll be itching to splurge on nearly everything you see. On top of it all, you'll want to indulge in things like brunch, partying, sex and more. Just be careful not to overindulge. There's nothing worse than snapping out of an indulgence binge and realizing you have nothing left.
As the New Moon cycle begins in Taurus tomorrow, you have the chance to make an important change in your life. Plans you make, and habits you begin for yourself in the next week will stick, so make sure they're habits you want to keep around. Similarly, bad habits will latch on. Fuckboys you let in, you'll keep letting in. So for once, don't let them in to begin with.
Two weeks from tomorrow, where do you want to be? Probably not in the same place you are right now. Tomorrow, a New Moon cycle begins in Taurus, encouraging us to cleanse, and begin anew. Because these cycles work in two week chunks, the changes you make tomorrow, you'll begin feeling around Memorial Day. You want a revenge bod? A new boyfriend to show off to the fam? Here's your chance.
You're always trying to change people. You probably don't even notice you're doing it — but you're constantly dismissing people saying the wrong thing, or irritating you, though you "don't know why." As the New Moon cycle begins in Taurus tomorrow, be conscious of who you're trying to change. Nobody is telling you to conform to them, but people are allowed to like different things. It's what makes us interesting. Try seeing something from someone else's POV.
A New Moon in Taurus resists change and so do you. Because of this, you'll have to try extra hard to let go of things that aren't good for you. What's fucked up about toxic things (and people) is that we fall in love with them the fastest — and they're the hardest to let go of. Usually when we love something or someone toxic, it's because we think we can't live without them. But the truth is, you're hardly living with them.
Whenever you make changes, they feel pretty short-term: a haircut, a new "side gig", whatever. But as the New Moon cycle in Taurus begins tomorrow, think about things you want to change in the long term — I'm talking four, five, six years down the line. This is the time to start building foundations that'll actually last. No more skipping from thing to thing.
If you feel like your life is spiraling out of control, it's because it probably is. When is the last time you did something to make yourself a more interesting person? And no, making new friends at brunch doesn't count. You need to get a grip, honey. The longer you let things spin, the harder it'll be to find the ground. Tomorrow, as the New Moon cycle in Taurus begins, do something to stabilize yourself — and then make it a habit.
‘Snapchat Dysmorphia’: We spoke to a plastic surgeon about the trend and why it isn’t really a big deal
Step One: We all relax
by Nian Hu
Lately, everyone has been flipping a massive shit about something called “Snapchat dysmorphia.” Word has it that young women these days are all desperate to get plastic surgery so they can look more like the selfies that they edit on Snapchat or Facetune — with smoother skin, bigger eyes, fuller lips, and thinner noses.Concerned adults…
Babe’s resident man is here to claim 2-in-1 shampoo is better
You will never convince me to change my mind
by Harry Shukman
ED NOTE: Every woman in the room started screaming with Harry pitched this, but we let him run with it because we all need a laugh sometimes Open season has been declared on 2-in-1 shampoo, and everyone from The Gay Burn Book to straight boy coochie-seekers are piling in on the humble 2-in-1. The shampoo…
A detailed analysis of Dan Humphrey’s masterpiece novel, ‘Inside’
In a huge shock to absolutely nobody: Dan is every sad litboy sitting in the coffee shop beside your office with an untouched copy of Naked Lunch
by Roisin Lanigan
Guys, remember Dan Humphrey’s fucking novel? I know, I know, there were many ridiculous plot points to remember from the delicious garbage fire that was Gossip Girl — give it up for my man Lord Marcus Beaton — but Dan Humphrey’s novel was the piece de resistance of dumb. He was working on the damn…