Take the earth… then make it about you
Okay, let's be honest: nobody fucking cares about the environment. But if there's one thing that makes the outdoors actually great, it's the fact that nature provides the perfect backdrop for your most thirst-inducing pictures.
It's the hottest trend of the summer, and it's called earth-trapping. Yeah, temperatures are rising — on your Instagram grid!
Earth-trapping is so easy, anyone can do it. Just take a scenic vista, pop a tit out, and post it. It's truly that simple.
Celebrities do it all the time
You know, famous people? Trendsetters? Ever heard of 'em? Check out the Beautiful People making sunsets, beaches and lush greenery into their personal photo studios.
Obviously, the beach is a prime spot to earth-trap. You're already basically naked. It just makes sense!
Fuck the pastel-tinged clouds and the way the setting sun's colors bleed into the ocean — check out Kylie's ass.
Rihanna is obviously adept at earth-trapping, because smoking a shitload of weed and going outside a bunch go together like PB&J.
But you don't need to be near a body of water to show off your body! Just check out the Bellas posing in forests like the lithe wood-nymphs they are.
Um, ill met by moonlight proud Titania, am I right?
Check out those stems! Like a plant, but also like the old-timey slang for legs. You get it!
Instagram model Alexis Ren is also an earth-trap master. Watch that video and try to tell me it has anything to do with the view from that backyard. I don't think so.
Even an open field or dry desert can induce some thirst. Just check out Zendaya gazing over this plain. Okay, lashes!
And here's Chrissy Teigen with her perfect husband. I guess this isn't a traditional thirst trap, but it sure is making me crave stability.
Seriously, her existence is like, the most compelling argument for motherhood I've ever encountered. I wanna write a cookbook, too.
But natural landscapes aren't the only thing you can use to earth-trap, because animals exist too, and they make for amazing props.
It's obvious that Ariana only posted this picture to emphasize how much cuter she is than a meerkat (which, honestly? high bar). Again, lashes!
Or check out this Instagram influencer who literally just posts pictures of herself with fish on her ass.
So ladies, if you want to maximize your likes and DM slides, you gotta get creative with the world around you. Fuck a cityscape, fuck a bed, fuck a mirror selfie — get outside and strike a pose.
You'll thank me later.
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● Here’s how to take those fake disposable camera pictures all the cool kids are posting on Instagram
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● Bella Hadid’s guide to thirst trapping is essential for getting maximum attention online
● Hurt-trapping is the new way to hoe on Instagram while just looking edgy