This girl asked cops to not arrest her because she’s a pretty, ‘very clean white girl’ cheerleader
Bitch blew through a stop sign at 60 mph!
by Amanda Ross
A soon-to-be 33-year-old woman from South Carolina is not helping the reputation of white girls everywhere when she was stopped by police for a litany of traffic-related offenses including plowing through a stop sign at 60 miles per hour, high and drunk as fuck. It was what she said when she got pulled over, though, that's really criminal.
"I'm a very clean, thoroughbred, white girl,” Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw told cops, slurring her words. No shade, but her mugshot doesn't look…that…clean and she edited her Instagram profile pic to FaceTune Hell. Our gal Lauren didn't stop there, though. When cops asked her if she'd been drinking that night, she said, “I mean I was celebrating my birthday." I hate that I can perfectly imagine the exact intonation of her voice when she said that — very Stassi Schroeder, you know?
She kept listing reasons she shouldn't be arrested which include:
1. Being white
3. Her "thoroughbred" pedigree
4. Getting good grades in school 10 years ago
5. Being a cheerleader almost 20 years ago
6. Dating a cop once
7. Paid dues to a sorority in college
Not that I've ever been that reckless behind the wheel but when I get pulled over, I usually just cry — works every time!
QUIZ: Make a couple of predictions and we’ll tell you if you’re like, psychic
Your fate is in our hands
by Caroline Phinney
Why did so many of our childhood made-for-TV movies revolve around psychic abilities? Is because kids are stupid and need fuel for constant games of pretend in the backyard while our parents drank wine? Or is it because it's the only magical ability that requires virtually zero of a TV show's budget to depict? Regardless,…
The men of Twitter are complaining about how hard it is to live life as a man and…I have to laugh!
They’re being genuine
by Caroline Phinney
Picture this: You're a woman walking alone down a dark street at night, and there is a man following very closely behind you. A number of thoughts are circling through your head: Can I get to my keys without him noticing? If he seems me grab them, will he jump me? Do you think he's…
So you hate your best friend’s boyfriend, huh?
Has she lost her fucking mind?
by Nian Hu
When your best friend calls you and gushes about her amazing new boyfriend, you feel happy for her at first. You can't WAIT to meet the special guy who managed to win your friend's heart! Until you actually meet him and you realize that he…actually kinda sucks? You want to shake your friend to her…