pop •
Ariana Grande just dragged the FUCK outta this guy who made a male version of ‘thank u, next’
‘I hope you’re…okay’
by Nian Hu
As we all know, since it's been streamed over 100 million times on Spotify, Ariana Grande's latest single thank u, next is an artistic masterpiece, in which the 25-year-old singer expresses gratitude to her exes for helping her grow and become a better person. It is a mature and contemplative song in which she thanks each of her ex-boyfriends by name — including the late Mac Miller — for teaching her love, patience, and pain. This song gave strength to women all over the world.
So of course, a straight man came along and did what straight men do best: missed the entire point and make a giant fool of himself in the process. Twitter user @_izzyofficial decided to respond to Ariana's sensitive and insightful song with a spiteful and immature diss track.
"You tellin' everyone it's my fault right?" he starts out angrily rapping, not seeming to realize that Ariana never tried to place any of the blame on her exes for things not working out. He goes on to say, "Really, I'm the victim!" in a perfect example of how straight men will always try to play the victim role, even though they occupy a position of privilege in society. Not to mention, he can't rap.
"Why the fuck are you thanking me? That's a weird flex," he says, revealing that he is not only a raging misogynist but also lacks basic comprehension skills. "Fuck my ex. You're the real definition of a devil in a dress."
Later, he tries to defend himself by claiming that anyone who wasn't overly impressed with his incel anthem is a "female." Well, isn't that convenient!
The Queen herself deigned to respond to his tragic attempt. At first, she was diplomatic. "Nah but u turned it into something that expressed your own personal experience," Ariana said politely. "That's tight. Bravo. But still. Thank u, next."
A few minutes later, she decided to be more honest. "I'm sure this felt great but…u missed the WHOLE POINT," she said, along with an entire line of crying and cry-laughing emojis. "I hope you're…okay."
A moment of silence, please, for this poor incel whose promising career as a future Men's Rights Activist/Champion of Friendzoned Guys was swiftly ended by our lord and savior Ariana Grande.
Thank you, next.