This 500-year-old skeleton will win next season’s Drag Race
And I’m NOT talking about your mom
My mind is racing with all the bad jokes I can make right now! Currently, I'm torn between: Slay while you get slayed (slain, I guess?) and Madonna looks amazing here. Archeologists unearthed a 500-year-old skeleton wearing thigh-high leather boots! Work bitch!
Other outlets less reputable than babe dot net have been quick to call the "male" "skeleton" a hypebeast or like an ancient warrior or whatever. But I would never come to such a heteronormative (or boring) conclusion because I grew up with a brother who put our dad's t-shirts on his head to pretend it was long hair. The skeleton was clearly a 15th century drag superstar and probably died while getting ready for Snatch Game.
Wake up, idiots!
Give Up Now: Experts indicate 2019 will be the worst year yet for the worst reason yet
God hath forsaken us
by Amanda Ross
I wish I had good news for you. I wish I could look you in the eye through the webcam malware I definitely didn't install on your computer when you clicked on this and tell you everything's going to be just fine. But that would be a lie. No, I'm so sorry but 2019 is…
So we all just missed Paris Hilton dressing up as a SEXY FURBY, huh?
She did the impossible and made Furbies sexy
by Nian Hu
The early 2000s are making a comeback, y'all, and you know what that means! Get out your tube tops, velour tracksuits, and denim skirts — it's time for a blast from the past.And if you're ready to feel REALLY old, then let me call your attention to the Furby. Yes, the one and only Furby!…
This extra-chunky cow is a big moo-oood
I’m udderly disinterested in anything that’s not bread
by Amanda Ross
Pop quiz! What cures that inexplicable dread-knot that lives in your throat every holiday season? Is it:A) Talk therapyB) LexaproC) Eating Betty Crocker cake frosting straight from the can using your finger as a shovel to cram it in your face-holeObviously eating is the correct answer! Just ask Big Knickers, a ginormous she-cow more famous…