Don’t let these Halloween costume fuck-ups keep you from getting laid

When it comes to choosing the right Halloween costume, there are a bunch of factors to consider, but the most important one doesn't involve getting all dressed up for the spookiest night of the year… It involves getting undressed, if you know what I mean (I mean hooking up! Sex!).

As we already noted, we are fully in the throes of Cocktober, of which Halloween is the main event. It's easy to get carried away by the holiday cheer, but when you're selecting the perfect costume(s), there are a couple of deal breakers that must be considered if you're really looking to seal the deal.

Here’s a short list of mistakes to avoid if you wanna end your Halloween night with a boo:

Racist costume

This should be a “duh” but… you’d be surprised. Racism isn’t sexy. Don’t be gross.

Accessory overload

It’s totally tempting to go crazy with colored contacts, prosthetics, wigs and gender-bending makeup. After all, if you don’t work at Disney World or regularly attend comic book conventions, this is the only time you get to show off this particular transformational skill set.

But if your goal of the night is to get laid, all of this extra shit is just going to get in the way. If you think peeling off prosthetic cheekbones (shouts out to Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent) is a grueling process in the comfort of your own home, imagine doing it in a stranger’s grimy bathroom at 4 in the morning.

Complicated outfit

Yes, you’re a very sexy Catwoman, but if you can’t peel that latex suit off your body like a Babybel Cheese in less than like 15 seconds, things are going to get kind of awkward.

Same goes for gag costumes like that adorable T-rex thing that’s all over the internet- those tiny arms aren’t going to work for holding a drink and casually flirting, let alone getting to the real action.

Too many props

Similar to too many accessories, props can quickly become a burden in the bedroom. It's tough enough to keep track of essentials like keys and a wallet, let alone a wizard staff or baseball bat.

This is especially true if you borrowed something from a friend. Being Cruella de Vil is all fun and games until your roommate is sobbing because you left her beloved stuffed dalmatian in Ryan’s apartment. Because both of you know that she’s never getting Spot back.

@k80way