How to deal with fuckboys

There are a number of things I would rather do than deal with fuckboys. I'd rather stick a hot burning coal down my pants, for example. Shove a shiv into my eyeball is another. Dealing with fuckboys is, quite possibly, the worst thing one will have to do in their lifetime. But how? How to deal with fuckboys?

I wish I had one solid answer for you. I wish that I could snap my fingers and make those fuckboys disappear or be less of a fucker but I cannot. What I can do, however, is give you some ideas on how to deal with fuckboys.

Many of these methods are tried and true whilst some of them are a bit more untested but necessity is the mother of invention and is there anything more necessary than new tactics to deal with fuckboys? I think not.

Ignore them

This might seem like the ~obvious~ answer but ignoring problems usually works…. just kidding. Well, in the case of fuckboys it does. If you ignore them, eventually they'll turn their fuckery onto someone else.

Fair warning: ignoring them won't help you get closure so if it's closure you seek, ignoring them might not be the best option for you.

Smother them

Quite the opposite of ignoring them. Overwhelm them. Quadruple text them. Tag them in memes. Send them links to your wedding board on Pinterest. Snapchat him twenty times a day. Tell him you can't wait for him to meet your parents.

Go full Fatal Attraction on his ass and it will have him running for the door. If he wants to play games with you then you're going to play a nice little game with him.

Play their game

If they want to play mind games with you, then fine, but he needs to learn that you're fucking Jigsaw, bitch. Any game he can play you can play better.

Text him back days later. Leave him on read. Like other guys' Instagram posts. Open his Snapchats but don't respond. Post Insta stories with cute guys. Make him think he's nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of your flats.

Give him a taste of his own disgusting fuckboy medicine.

Call them out

Text them and let them know that you're over their bullshit and they can't treat you the way they've been treating you. They'll feign innocence and try and defend themselves but it won't work. They're a fuckboy through and through.

This might not be super effective but it sure as shit will help you get some closure and feel better about yourself and the predicament you've found yourself in.

Murder them

Just kidding. Don't do this. It's illegal.

@jenniferficarra