We ranked the greatest pairs of twins in history, and then we ranked them by individual hotness
Oh, we’re talkin’ twins
by Katie Way
Twins are pretty fucking hot right now, and everyone wants in on the action. But the sad truth is that you're either a twin or you aren't one — there's simply no in-between!
If you can't beat 'em (and you can't. They're too powerful), join 'em, and if you can't join 'em then you've gotta rank 'em.
So without further ado, here's a power ranking of every pair of famous twins — both compared to other sets of twins and each other.
13. The Winklevoss Twins
Claim to fame: Olympians, bitcoin millionaires, played by Armie Hammer in The Social Network.
Alpha Twin: Tyler, because his black t-shirt tells me that he's not afraid to cut loose every once and awhile.
The Winklevoss twins are physically formidable, and they have a more impressive resumé than almost anybody on this list. But not only did they fail to stop Mark Zuckerberg when he was still in his larval stage, they are not actually both Armie Hammer. And that's a dealbreaker.
12. Gemini, The Twins
Claim to fame: We're all fucking obsessed with astrology now, right?
Alpha Twin: Good Gemini qualities, like intellectual curiosity and conversational skills and not the bad ones like flakiness and duplicity
Don't get me wrong — many of my closest friends are Gemini suns. But doesn't that say more bad things about me than it does good things about any given Gemini?
11. Phil and Lil DeVille
Claim to fame: Rugrats, Rugrats: All Grown Up
Alpha Twin: Lil. Phil is weak, I can sense it.
I didn't watch that much of Rugrats growing up (I skewed more Cartoon Network than Nickelodeon) but from what I saw, these twins were okay. They weren't protagonist material even though they were generally down to ride — but sadly, they failed to add drama to the show, which really hurt them in this ranking. Sorry!
10. Vin Diesel and his brother Paul
Claim to fame: Vin Diesel is a movie star, and Paul is Vin Diesel's twin brother.
Alpha Twin: Sure, Vin is rich a famous, but money isn't everything — looks are! Paul still has hair, so he gets the W this time.
As much as a love the Chronicles of Riddick, I'm pretty sure Vin is a whole-ass creep based on his on-camera behavior towards female journalists. I don't know anything about Paul but he looks… normal? But I guess "normal man" isn't a ringing endorsement either.
9. The Kaplan Twins
Claim to fame: Twin artists who are super hot on Instagram.
Alpha Twin: Ugh. I can't pick.
Sometimes when I talk shit about celebrities, people accuse me of just being jealous which isn't usually true. But in this specific instance, I am sad to report that I am Just Jealous of these hot twins. I also think the portion of their artwork based off of leaked celebrity nudes is morally dicey. But again, I really am just jealous as fuck.
8. The Lizard Twins aka the Catfish Twins aka the Khan Twins
— Khan Twinz (@khantwinz) February 8, 2018
Claim to fame: Scaring people online.
Alpha Twin: I honestly don't know their names, but I think the one whose mustache connects to his beard is hotter.
I kinda love how earnest these twins are, even though they're basically famous because people are making fun of them. I think they mean no harm, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't get a little spooked if I saw them in real life.
7. Tia and Tamera Mowry
Claim to fame: Starring in OG Disney Channel media and not totally losing it.
Alpha Twin: Tia, because her Wikipedia page has a picture.
I'm a big Twitches fan, so that did a lot of heavy lifting for the Mowry sisters in terms of this list. But they haven't done much since they moved away from DCOMs — Tia has a cooking show and Tamera co-hosts a daytime talk show which is fine, I guess. They're inoffensive, but definitely not taking advantage of their twin status as much as they should be.
6. Dwayne Johnson and The Rock
Claim to fame: The Rock is a WWE champion and Dwayne Johnson is an actor whose film credits include Jumanji and The Mummy Returns.
Alpha Twin: There was a time I would have said The Rock, but he's kind of fallen off the map recently so I'm gonna go with Dwayne.
It's kind of uncanny how similar these two look, and how similar the charisma they exude can be. The Rock is a little more rebellious than his twin brother, who's teased potential political aspirations before, but overall they both seem like pretty cool guys. So much alike.
5. Joel and Benji Madden
Claim to fame: Good Charlotte, baby!
Alpha Twin: Benji. He's just a little bit cuter, and Cameron Diaz is more of a reach than Nicole Richie, celeb status-wise.
Good Charlotte has some emotional bangers, but I didn't even know these guys were twins until I started compiling this list. That either means they're shitty at being twins… or really fucking good at it. Also, the fact that the Madden brothers are the reason Cameron Diaz and Nicole Richie have to talk on a regular basis is Very Good.
4. Dylan and Cole Sprouse
Claim to fame: Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Riverdale, Twitter
Alpha Twin: Cole, but I'd let both of them run in my hotel lobby.
I know it's not a hot take to want to fuck the Sprouse twins, but I'm kinda tryna fuck the Sprouse twins. They seem fun and normal-ish and like they'd humor me if I tried to talk to them at a party, so they're A-Okay in my book.
3. The Clermont Twins
Claim to fame: Prominently featured in Yeezy Season 6 campaign, hot on Instagram.
Alpha Twin: Based on this interview in W Magazine, Shannade is more fun than Shannon, which you'd kind of have to be if your name was a weirder version of your twin's name, right?
These twins are the reason that twins are trendy right now, so I have to give credit where credit is due. Do I think it's a little creepy to pose nude with your twin sister? Yes. Would I eat glass to look like either of them? Also a yes.
2. Beyoncé's twins
Claim to fame: C'mon. They're Beyoncé's twins.
Alpha Twin: Fuck it, Rumi's gonna be better than Sir, I'm calling it now.
They're still babies, so they're not really doing anything right now, but frankly it is only a matter of time before they become aware of their immense and terrible power. Once they do, they will be truly unstoppable and all we will be able to do is cower in their wake. I, for one, am ready for it.
1. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
Claim to fame: Dominating 90s twin media
Alpha Twin: Ashley just looks… healthier now.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are everything that twins should be: beautiful, mysterious and inscrutably terrifying. Listening to these two give an interview sounds like my ASMR fantasy. I bet they can read each others' minds. The Olsen twins have seen the face of God, and it was weeping. I fear them… and I love them.