Is Biebs gonna be a DAD?
I don't really get into "events," because I'm like super chill and counter-culture and shit, but even I got sucked into the Met Gala last night because I'm a lapsed Catholic who loves critiquing other peoples' outfits.
But while I waded through all the tweets talking shit about Shailene Woodley, I noticed fans talking about something way more serious than oppressively blunt bangs: people actually think Selena Gomez is pregnant, and… well, you'll just have to look for yourself.
Yeah. Yikes, right? Fans said that the maternity cut of Selena's dress, her skin's lit-from-within (okay, sprayed-from-without, but still) glow and her visibly bigger boobs are all signs that the actress and singer is pregnant.
Could all of this be mere coincidence, with Selena experiencing a regular smegular weight gain à la Thicc Rihanna or a normal, non-famous human being? Sure, but that's nowhere near as fun. I went to Selena's Instagram for more clues, and noticed a (significant?) lack of stomach visibility in her recent posts.
Coincidence? Potentially! Plus, I don't know if you noticed, but Justin Bieber is going the FUCK through it right now. Did you guys SEE him at Coachella with Bella Thorne and the Yodeling Kid?!
Clearly, he's in crisis… the kind of crisis he might be in if he recently discovered that he's going to be a father — or that his beloved ex-girlfriend is having a child with someone else.
Then again, real Selenators know she has lupus, an autoimmune disease for which she received a kidney transplant last year, so she could just be gaining weight while she recovers or going through some kind of health-related fluctuation — in which case, we're all assholes.
I don't know which option is better. I guess I just hope that she's okay.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
● I copied Selena Gomez’s Instagram for a week, and my friends really hated it
● EXCLUSIVE: Justin Bieber’s monkey is still traumatized from living with him
● Bella Hadid has a secret Instagram account dedicated to her alter-ego named Rebekka