Is it ever ok to get back with your ex? We asked real girls about it, and they have WORDS
Are Bella and The Weeknd doing the Right Thing?
by Una Dabiero
Have you guys noticed that everyone is getting back with their exes this Gemini season? Bella and The Weeknd recently went Instagram official with their rekindled flame. Gigi has been posting some snuggly pics with her ex boo, Zayn. John Cena got back with his wife. Scott Disick and Sofia Richie got back together after a (very short) break. And of course, Khloe took back Tristan after the Kardashian Kheating scandal heard 'round the-world.
But is getting back with an ex ever really ok? Are all these celebs destined for a very public heartbreak? Or is getting back with an ex like putting on an old sweater you find shoved in a drawer at your mom's house — cozy and comfortable? We asked real girls whether or not you can get back with an ex, and advice if you're really going to do it. Here's what they said.
Most girls think it's unacceptable under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to get back with an ex
"From my experience, getting back with an ex is like reading an old book and expecting a different ending. Pointless."
"I used to believe it was possible to get back with an ex and be happier, but I’ve since been proven very, very wrong. Exes will not change. If it was going to work, it was going to work the first time."
"I think we’ve all done it…but at the end of the day I bet a solid 75 percent of us can attest to “an ex is an ex for a reason.”
"I broke up with a guy I was with for years for a variety of reasons that can be summed up in him being emotionally manipulative. Now, I’m with someone who does nothing but encourage me, and even though we've only been together for a few months, it's so much better than my last relationship. Never convince yourself that time means anything, because it usually does not. Be with someone who is good for you, and drop someone who is not."
"I’ve wondered in the past about what could’ve been with my ex who was my first big relationship, but I think it’s better to leave it as a memory. Especially because I’m currently in a very healthy, very happy relationship. My current boyfriend is the real deal. It can be nice to reminisce, but don’t let the memories take over your life."
But some girls think it's ok under certain circumstances…
"If you broke up because of distance or you felt the time wasn’t right for the relationship, it’s fine to get back with an ex. But if you broke up because of serious issues like cheating or abuse or something, it’s not okay."
"Unless you guys left and you were still both in love or the problem wasn't related to your relationship — like he was moving away or something — I don't see why you would ever get back with an ex."
"Never take an ex back. That is, UNLESS you see real change. The behavior that led you to leave them has to be eradicated which takes time and willingness and humbleness. Those are good qualities in a partner, new or old."
Especially if you think you need more closure from the relationship
"Every situation is different. I took an ex back and ended up having an absolutely awful breakup a year later after I found out he had been cheating. BUT, as much as it sucked to feel like I wasted another year, I think I needed that to fully be done and move on from him."
Or if you KNOW they're the one
"I took him back and we got married. High school sweethearts. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it. I knew he was the one."
Give yourself time and use your common sense to determine if you REALLY need to get back into this relationship
"I was very strict about not taking exes back because I believed that 'an ex is an ex for a reason.' But I took an ex back and told him that if we broke up again, it was over for good. That was 7 years ago and we will be married in October. But we didn't break up for terrible reasons. I think you should look at your relationship logically, because this decision is all about how y'all broke up. Ask yourself: Why did we break up? Was it amicable? Was he emotionally there for you throughout the relationship AND the breakup? Was it just bad timing? There are definitely exceptions to the ex-rule."
"Getting back with an ex depends on why you broke up. Was it because of something like distance, or was it because someone cheated? There's myriad reasons why couples break up, and myriad reasons why they get back together! Whether it's acceptable or not is totally dependent on the situation and the couple, in my opinion. Look at it logically. Break it down. Ask a friend. Then make your decision."
And maybe read some babe articles about it too. Just a suggestion. 😇