‘I’ll text you’ is the death kiss of first dates, and anything anyone else tells you is a lie

So you went on a ~magical~ first date, he said he’ll text you tomorrow, but now it's tomorrow and it just hit 5pm and he is a liar.

You've been trying to distract yourself by doing things you'd never normally do (like cleaning your room and calling your aging relatives), you've canceled plans with friends to ensure your phone can remain at 100 percent at all times, and you've checked all his socials twice over to make sure he hasn't been active elsewhere.

At this point, you've allowed Google to convince you he's playing it by the three day rule, despite knowledge, deep down, he doesn't even know what the three day rule is.

Because here's the truth: If any man ever says "I'll text you" at the end of a date, he means at 3 am, two months later, when pickings are becoming slim at the 18 + club he's hitting with the boys, all his Tinder matches have run dry, and he's too drunk to feel any shame about scraping the very bottom of the barrel (read: you).

Then, at 5 am he'll roll over, tell you he has a really hard time sleeping with other people in his bed, and thank you for understanding before you even have time to process or respond.

So why do it in the first place? Why say he'll text you knowing full well he won't? Simple! To escape his own guilt. Why take on the responsibility of breaking it to someone in person you aren't interested, when you could lie straight to their face, get as far away as humanly possible, and then never contact them again? It's genius! And, added bonus, it wastes a bunch of our time and energy.

But here's the good news. You probably aren't as into him as you think. You're probably only into him because he isn't into you. Did you even have a good time? If he had texted you straight after, would you even have replied?

Probably. Desperate.

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