Everything I wish I’d known before getting my nipple pierced

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Everything I wish I’d known before getting my nipple pierced

Periods = new levels of pain

Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of pros to a nipple piercing. The sex appeal, that feeling you’ve got some kinda naughty little secret and a more aesthetically pleasing boob, to name but a few.

However, there’s plenty of cons too. So here’s a little wisdom I wish I’d had before taking the plunge.

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Eat something sugary pre-piercing

If you’ve done a little research, the news that your nipple is a pretty painful piercing won’t come as a shock. However, the likeliness that you’ll pass out from the pain has probably not been divulged. Prep by nibbling on a sugary snack to balance your blood sugars and save yourself the embarrassment of waking up on the studio floor.

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Crusty nipple 

The considerably lesser known downside of piercing your nipple. I’ll leave this to your imagination.

If you’re considering both, opt for a double piercing session

It’s no newsflash that nipple piercings are pretty high on the pain scale, even for those with a high pain threshold. So, if you’re thinking of getting both then you probably should go for an all-in-one so as to not be put off by the pain.

They require WAY more maintenance than your average piercing

The holy water of nipple piercings
The holy water of nipple piercings

Unlike fresh ear piercings, a couple of weeks spraying a little salt spray onto the area will not do the trick. Instead, expect months, if not over a year, of daily cleaning should you want to avoid infections.

Bracelets are dangerous 

One minute, you’ll be singing in the shower; the next, you’ll be re-enacting a horror scene whilst attempting not to throw up from the pain.

Periods= new levels of pain

They’re a pretty painful process anyway but combined with a foreign object in your tit you can expect sore boobs x10 on a good day.

Increased sensitivity is a myth 

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F**k everyone that told me they’d get hyper sensitive

OK, so some people might get lucky, but universally a nipple piercing doesn’t automatically ensure a more sensitive nip. In fact, some people have even lost feeling as a result of the new nickel in their breast.

It will NEVER heal 

OK, perhaps a slight exaggeration, but expect a healing period of 6 months +, provided you don’t have any accidents that slow down the process.

Topless sunbathing reaches new levels of trickiness

Surprise, surprise, sunscreen and piercings don’t mix. But something you may not know is that nipples tan too. Since boobs don’t get out quite so much as the rest of you, wearing factor 50 is advisable if red’s not your colour.

Lace bras are a big no no 

Bye bye danger bra
Lace bras ain’t so sexy when they make your nipple bleed

This should go without saying, but, unfortunately, I too seem to forget this at times. It’s not too much of a stretch of the imagination to visualise what horrors may ensue from the nipple piercing + holey material combo.

Seatbelts

It might save your life, but it’s also capable of causing you a great deal of pain. You’ll definitely want to avoid getting into a car with anyone who’s a little too familiar with the brake pedal.

Thick bras are advisable in cold weather

Nipple chafing. Enough said.

Draw on a pair of eyes and it can be mistaken for a face

Possibly the creepiest thing ever
Possibly the creepiest thing ever

No doubt, you’ll already be aware that Snapchat has the pretty awesome ability to recognise faces, however, it clearly gets a little confused sometimes. Turns out a little marker pen, can bring you a whole lotta laughter. Just don’t use permanent ink.

Longer is better when it comes to bars

It’s a weigh up between the risk of catching it on something and ease of cleaning, but ultimately longer is better.

Crowds become karate practice

It won’t take you long to realise, that what was once an inoffensive brush past can now bring tears to your eyes. You might get some weird looks or even killer evils, but when faced with protecting your new nipple piercing from passersby, you’ll need to start channelling your inner karate kid.

So now you’ve got all the gory details you’re free to make your own very informed decision as to whether or not it’s really worth the pain.

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