This app is like Tinder, but for finding your dream job instead of a bunch of dick pics
Swipe right on success, not mirror pics
You know there’s an actual, medical condition from swiping on dating apps too much? You can literally rip that little muscle between your thumb and index finger and what do you even have to show for it? A bunch of “haha and then what ;)” texts, some dick pics, and about a hundred new Snapchat contacts you never use.
Well fuck that. It’s 2018, and I refuse to use my hand strength on anything that’s not contributing to my success, health, and wealth. And guys who list “self-employed DJ” as their job definitely…aren’t.
Enter Shapr. It’s like if LinkedIn and Tinder teamed up to have the most convenient baby in the world. It’s built for networking, to find you your dream mentor, internship, job, everything. And it completely satisfies that need-to-swipe compulsion that washes over you the second you lay down in bed. We’re the idea generation, and that’s what Shapr is about: connecting you with valuable people who can make your dreams and ideas a reality — people you might not otherwise come in contact with.
Here’s how it works: download the Shapr app from either the App Store or whatever the Android version of the App Store is. Fill out the information the way you would a dating profile, and try to get as specific as you can. I’m sure you’ve already schemed your career out with demonic precision so that’ll be easy. Then, the app gives you a list of 15 professional contacts who could be a match. If you dig ’em, you swipe right (duh!) and if it’s mutual, you’re connected.
Shapr takes the terrifying-as-hell part out of networking, so it’s perfect for shy people with big ideas (also known as every artist I’ve ever met). It breaks the ice for you so you don’t have to do that thing where you gather in a ballroom and try to awkwardly hand out business cards to total strangers like the greatest scene from the greatest film of our time, How To Be Single:
Basically, Shapr the easiest thing you can do to turn your dreams into a reality. Why would you waste your time swiping on someone who’s just going to steal your scarf and ghost when you could be seizing the new year and going for it? Swipe. Match. Chat. Meet. I don’t know about you guys, but this is going to be the year I manifest everything I want, and this is the perfect first step.
If you aren’t treating your period week like the best part of the month, you’re living life completely wrong
It’s literally an excuse to do whatever you want
I know 2016 was supposed to be the Year Of Realizing Things, but I don't think I made the most important discovery of my life until a few months ago. And now that I've finally awoken from this primordial sleep to see the truth, I'm here to enlighten you too. Your period should be the…