Read these sex toy horror stories and be grateful you haven’t been killed by a dildo — yet

When the lights are down low, there's nobody home, and that battery-operated boyfriend's got a full charge, it's about time to have at it. Unfooooortunately, there are way worse things that can happen than being walked in. We asked girls around the net about their worst sex toy stories, and I think I might be too scared to masturbate ever again.

Amy

So when I got a new "waterproof" vibe, I jumped in a full bath. Everything seemed to be going according to plan until I tried to relax. When I laid back, the bath water splashed over my nips and they felt like they exploded. I have no idea what caused me to be electrocuted there, especially since the vibrator was supposed to be waterproof. Those lil’ bitches were tender for 24 hours after! I even considered going to the ER because I couldn’t even deal with the weight of a T-shirt on them. I will never take a vibrator into the tub ever again.

Janice

One time I bought a light saber from a rodeo. The guy I was seeing wanted it up his ass. ?

Adina

I was going to surprise a FWB with a butt plug I'd planned on wearing. I hadn't lubed it up enough and ended up with a small tear back there. Long story short, I'm now waiting on minor surgery to have it repaired.

Laura

Once I thought I had lost a Ben Wa ball inside me. I knew it couldn’t go far, but I was sure I could feel it and just couldn’t fully grasp it. I panicked for what felt like at least an hour. Luckily, I later found it in my bed.

Elena

I was in the middle of a threesome, wearing a butt plug, when I started to feel it slip deep inside me! I excused myself and got it out, went back and they were none the wiser. I realized then that some of those bejeweled princess plugs are unsafe because of the width of the base and I threw it out immediately. Phew!

Doris

My ex always wanted to use my double bullet while we were having sex. He wanted one in his ass and one in mine. The one time we did and after he was done, he pushed to get the bullet out and shit on my bed!!!

Heather

My boyfriend bought me nipple clamps as a "joke" Valentine's Day gift. We tried it out that same night and after we finished, I still had the clamps on. He accidentally tripped over them and almost ripped my nips off. We went straight to the hospital, but I think it was more painful to explain to the nurse what had happened.

Dannie

My ex was using a vibrator on me and he put the side with the button on me. But the rubber covering the button had came off and when it came into contact with my hood piercing, he basically gave my clit an electric shock. I’m still shook to this day!

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● Join us in laughing at this collection of the most pathetic sexting attempts in human history

● We asked girls how they prepare for dick appointments, and WOW you guys are some evil geniuses

@aribines