That weird ‘Curvy Wife Guy’ hates us :(
‘I was often teased for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier’
Whoever said heroes come in all shapes and sizes clearly never imagined that one day, The Curvy Wife Guy would come onto this earth and declare himself a martyr for thiccness. Also known as The Thicc Wife Guy, né Robbie Tripp, he first appeared on your timeline with this horny and unsettling post about his partner, Sarah: "There is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll… Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured in my life and in my heart." Oh no!
Curvy Wife Guy managed to leverage his viral sputum into a career – he now brags about making six figures from a flood of lucrative sponsored content deals. He's paid by McDonalds, eBay, Chase Bank, Alaska Air, L'Occitane, five-star luxury hotels, and a men's hair loss treatment, to name a fraction of the brands he works with. By all accounts he is a huge success, something he achieved through posting about his wife (which he continues to do, taking photos of him giving the thumbs-up next to her ass, calling her "a sensual goddess" and "the world's comfiest pillow").
So it was a little surprising to see him on NowThis, the Facebook news page, talking about the "backlash" from his original post, showing a screenshot of a babe dot net article about his bizarro declaration of love. The shade of it!
He praised those who had a "positive" reaction to his original post, and then had a dig at us, the brave troops of babe dot net who dared to say he wasn't a hero for being in love with the woman he married. "We say it was the worst thing that ever happened, because unfortunately there was a little bit of backlash," he tutted.
Wife Sarah added: "People just thought that there was, like, this hidden agenda, that he was trying to, like, make his meek, self-conscious wife feel good about herself, and that was not the case at all."
She's right that his hidden agenda wasn't to make his wife feel good – it was to make a lot of money! Go through Curvy Wife Guy's Instagram and you'll see nothing but posts about how good their life is, how their dreams have come true, and how successful they are. That, and sponsored content deal after sponsored content deal.
The fawning video captions continue: "While the experience of going viral had its up and downs, the couple is grateful for the growth of their platform [and money], and how it has allowed them to spread positive messages [and earn money] about self-love and confidence [and how much fucken money they make]."
From his nonsensical Tedx Talk (not the main one but one of those ones in a community center) to his self-published book about how to be creative (the typed equivalent of a blocked and unflushable toilet), The Curvy Wife Guy is an unstoppable branded content machine. He will sell socks and toothbrushes and moisturizing facial spray, all because he once went viral by saying he loved his wife. Said it before, but one of his posts says it all: "You are solid gold, dollface."
Other posts about The Curvy Wife Guy (have I done too many on him?)
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