Wanna be hot in 2018? Here’s how to glow up for the new year
2017 isn’t coming with us
The new year is calling for a thiccc glow-up so you better pick up the phone.
A glow-up forces others to recognize something different about you to a point where they perceive it as worthy. It's the act of becoming a better version of yourself so much so that people can't help but notice.
Glow-ups can be brought on by a number of things — a new job, more money, a breakup — but they can also be brought on by choice, and here's how:
Give your social media a break in the month beforehand
Some call this a healthy break from an otherwise immense waste of time and energy, but some call it Taylor Swifting.
Taking a break on social media is harder than you think but also super underrated. It's the same as going through a break up — people think it's best to put a ton of photos up showing how well they're doing, but it just seems overwhelming and desperate.
Going ghost for a month or so and reappearing looking Happy, Healthy and Hot will have way more of an impact than showing the whole transition.
Hide under your layers while you still can
You have a month and a half to kick your diet and workout regiment into gear, and while that probably sounds short to some, a lot can change in six weeks. I know because it's the longest I've ever worked out consecutively.
For now, even while you're working out, dress in a way that's comfortable and concealing so when you do finally reveal the ~slight~ change in the new year, it seems dramatic af.
Take care of your skin and try going out less
Saying no to going out in the winter is a lot easier than saying no to going out in the summer, so take advantage of it. It's not weird on a Friday to say you want to go home and relax and nobody will really judge you for it.
Spend less time drinking wine and a bit more time drinking water. Buy a ton of those 5 for $25 face masks at Urban and try moisturizing your skin for a month and wearing less makeup — or at least moisturizing under the makeup.
That way, come January, your skin will be primed and ready for a whole lot of highlighter.
You can keep the cigarettes — for now.
Watch a ton of movies with glow-up montages
While sitting at home with your face-mask on, you'll have plenty of time to indulge in shitty movies without feeling bad, because the weather is likely to be equally shit.
Here's one for inspiration and good measure.
Can you even believe Mia Thermopolis invented the glow up?
Ignore any potential fuckboys for the next few weeks
Do not let anybody trip you up on this mission because the only way a glow up works is if you really focus on it. Kind of like how Taylor Swift is dating Joe Alwyn — there's no way he's distracting enough to get her off track.
I'm not even sure he talks — he's just a useful sounding board. Get yourself a sounding board, not a distraction.
And don't worry about what happens after. Anyone who dated you before your glow up doesn't get to say they dated you after, because technically that was in another life.
A glow up can be temporary, but it can also be life changing — either way something has shifted and you're no longer the person you were two months ago.
This is the best time to educate yourself, work hard, make money and get closer to your friends because a new year means a fresh slate, and you're not bringing any of 2017 with you.
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