Your zodiac rising sign is what everyone says about you behind your back

The world of horoscopes is all about self-understanding and personal growth. It’s a look into who you and others are in an attempt to grow and learn. There’s no room for pettiness in astrology, right?

Lol yeah OK.

In addition to your sun sign, which tells you your style and life destiny, and your moon sign (which is the ooey-gooey land of emotions and inner self) we all have an ascendant sign, also known as our rising sign. The ascendant sign is meant to represent your instinctive reactions to life and it's usually the first thing people notice about you.

In other words, if someone’s talking shit, this is what they’re saying. Here's where to calculate your ascendant if you don't already know it, and let's get started:

Aries

When you walk into a room, Aries Rising, people notice. You’ve got all of the direction of an Aries sun without the anger issues (sorry Aries suns, you know I love you), and what other people are just starting to think about doing you already did last week. This can lead to some jealousy in the workplace because you were so obviously born for success.

“Who does she think she is?” your coworker mumbles as you ask for a raise after a month in the office. I’m your future boss, sweetheart.

Taurus

The ascendant sign is all about what’s new, and to be clear, you don’t do new. Steady Taurus makes you crave safety and the familiar. “I am fun” you tell your girlfriends over and over. They’ll roll their eyes at each other remembering the last time they even dared suggest a new bar. They’ll forgive your bullheadedness as soon as you’re rescuing them from their impulsive decisions.

Until then, I guess we’re all drinking at Jake’s again.

Gemini

I can picture you scrolling down your chart to a dead-stop at Gemini Ascendant. "Doesn’t everyone hate Geminis?" you think to yourself. First of all, no. Gemini Suns get a bad rap because of their double-personality (read: two-facedness) but they’re also known to have a curious and optimistic nature. Rising Geminis focus this energy on learning and sharing ideas with different social circles.

Some people will roll their eyes over how smart you think you are, but meanwhile, you’ve already worked out precisely how to take them down.

But, you know, like in a fun, upbeat way?

Cancer

Your shyness comes across as sweetness and innocence whether or not those terms describe your full personality. Everyone wants to adopt you, from your coworkers to your college TAs. You just feel familiar to them. If people patronize you, at least you know it’s because to them you’re like a pet bunny.

Everyone just wants to protect you from mean people and loud noises.

Leo

Have you ever heard the expression “Miss Thing” but in an unironic, stop-sucking-the-air-out-of-the-room way? It’s probably been said about you. Honestly, they’re just jealous of your natural magnetism and maybe your clothes — you know how to look impressive. Leo Risings know how people see them and do their best to come off as large and in charge.

You’re the type of person to actually wear a tiara on your birthday — like, everywhere.

Virgo

It doesn’t matter whether you’re smart or not, someone is going to try and cheat off of your exams. Which, of course, you’ll worry about. Then you’ll worry about that comment your roommate made about the dishes. Then you’ll WebMD some cold symptoms, decide you’re definitely pregnant, and of course, worry.

You probably do a lot of yoga or pure barre or something like that to balance the stress, and people probably make fun of that, too.

Their loss, your butt looks great.

Libra

If anyone is talking shit it’s me because I’m annoyed that no one has anything bad to say about you and that’s not fair. Seriously, who is this charming? You always seem to be solving arguments and persuading others to be happier. You’re easy-going nature puts people instantly at ease. Sometimes you might find yourself becoming a little bit fake in your constant effort to be universally liked, but you’re so good at what you do that no one is the wiser.

Balance is everything.

Scorpio

There are only two opinions on you: people love you or hate you, respect you or fear you. Either way, you leave an impression. Something about the way you strut or the way you speak is obviously commanding. While you would never be called “sweet” by anyone who had just met you, you’ll definitely get “impressive” or “powerful”. You can see through people’s fake-ness and you have no patience for it.

If people get mad when you call out their bullshit, you aren’t bothered by it.

Sagittarius

Anyone with Sagittarius in their chart is bound to be bitten with the adventure bug, and you’re no exception. Like Gemini Rising, you have a curious enthusiasm which you bring to every situation. Besides that, you have opinions on everything and it would have to take a really bad day for you to not feel inspired to share all of them. People love you for these things but you can also be overwhelming.

You’re the spinning fair ride of first impressions and that can make a lot of people dizzy.

Capricorn

The first time you made a B on a test, you spent the rest of your week in the library. And you were in first grade, your street-side lemonade sale was fully licensed in your state and you entered into your first serious relationship based on a list of pro’s and con’s. You are competence.

“She just seems so serious all the time,” the new girl at work gossips in the break room.

No Susan, you just don’t understand my jokes.

Aquarius

Are you Zooey Deschanel? No? Oh, just Aquarius Rising.

You’ve got quirk and personality for miles on miles. However, your independence can make you come across as standoffish when you first meet people. Soon enough, they'll all realize that unusual conversations and new information is the way to break through your shell and will become obsessed with impressing you.

Pisces

You’re as easy going as it gets with your head in the clouds and your heart on your sleeve. Your kind, if sensitive, nature makes you open to meeting new people — depending on your emotional state that day, of course. Honestly, the way you present yourself changes so often that most of what everyone is saying is that they don’t understand you.

That’s okay, they don’t need to.

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@TheTab