Here are all those online games you loved as a kid, plus how you can still play
So you don’t have to waste your time getting viruses on your school MacBook
by Una Dabiero
One of the best things about the 2000s was the fact that we were all just given unfettered access to the internet. There were no apps to track screen time or child blockers. We were all just allowed to run free, like internet ponies. The cute, small kind. And, yeah it was awesome. But at the same time… who decided it was a good idea to give us THAT MUCH POWER? It's no wonder adolescents are snorting condoms.
Granted, unlike some of my peers who were watching tentacle porn or researching blue waffles, I spent most of my time playing games. I am convinced that the first and true purpose of the internet was the Flash game.
God didn't make those on accident. And he especially didn't just trip and pop out EverythingGirl.com.
In a bout of nostalgia, I went and found links for every ICONIC internet game from our childhood I could find. I have Barbie games, Kim Possible games, and Lizzie McGuire makeovers all in the same place. And no bitch, of course I didn't forget Sandwich Stacker.
Let's start with some Disney games
The game that taught me it's ok — nay, GOOD — to run from authority figures.
Fashion advice from the STYLE ICON herself.
If you didn't want to be Maddie, you ain't real.
Perhaps the hidden origin of the "touch my butt and buy me pizza" era?
Kim Possible: teaching us all you can save the world with only a PASSION for FASHION.
From the HISTORIC Kim Possible movie about time travel, something that still interests me to this day thanks to the Disney Channel.
Which definitely predicted the rise of Chipotle.
We REALLY accepted those pixels as Hilary Duff's face? Smdh.
I was an eight-year-old racing LEGEND, don't @ me.
If only Kyle Massey had HALF of this money now. That poor, poor failed child star.
WE STILL TALK ABOUT THIS ON THE REGULAR. THINK ABOUT THAT. EXPERIMENT 625's MIND.
I loved painting online nails because my mom wouldn't let Baby Me use real nail polish. Adorable, I know.
Honestly, they should've let me dress the real Hannah Montana. Her outfits probably would've turned out better.
Now let's get into BARBIE
This game is solely responsible for me considering a horse a viable pet option.
You were basically Kylie Jenner with Stormi but 10 years ago. Way ahead of the trend.
Honestly, it's no wonder so many girls from your High School work at the MAC counter at Macy's after this game.
Pretending to be a Kardashian before I even knew what a Kardashian was.
I just LOVED doing some bitches UP.
I know, I know… they redid the faces. 😒
Peep Polly's small glasses — a TREND-SETTER.
POLLY WAS SO FUTURISTIC. Did Elon Musk design her furniture?!
Where I pretended I could drive… or had the money for clothes at a humble 8 years old.
Because Polly was not only a fashion icon, but a rock star. We love a multi-dimensional woman.
And for the real internet OGs… Diva Starz (a doll you probably forgot existed)
Where you dressed up these bitches unconventionally large feet.
These jumpsuits omgggg
Where they were ROCK STARS. Do you see a trend?
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Raise your hand if you’re sick of your friends!
by Ari Bines
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by Una Dabiero
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These Class of 2018 graduation stories are so inspiring, they’ll have you rolling around crying
Aborted at age 4, died in Pearl Harbor, graduate at 18
by Una Dabiero
There's nothing so inspiring as grad season. You can basically smell the soon-to-be-broken dreams in the air! And the joy everyone feels getting that one watch they've always coveted — as though anyone can tell analog time, loool — is contagious. I'd sit in a hot gymnasium full of people I barely talked to over…