Here’s your perfect Instagram aesthetic based on your star sign
Scorpios stay getting likes
Everyone who’s mastered the Instagram game has their very own, carefully crafted Insta aesthetic. But, maybe you’re behind the ball on that front? And maybe that’s why you’re not getting as much engagement as the former HBIC of your high school who can’t stop sharing photos of her daughter MaKayLinn? Well, in any case, I’m here to help. Actually, your astrology sign is what’s really going to help you out here.
Your star sign says so much about you, naturally. It’s only fitting that one would have to look no further than their sign to figure out how they might rule the wonder that is Instagram. Catch me on the quest to the K.
Aries: Can you tell how hard I tried to not look like I tried?
Aries-born should honestly just not give a fuck and upload whatever, with whatever filter, because it'll actually end up looking like it's curated without ever actually curating it. Did that make sense? I'm an Aries myself, so probably not. Think of your feed like this: you know when you get dressed at the last minute and just throw on a bunch of things and it actually ends up looking amazing and way better than whatever perfectly-planned thing you were going to wear? Exactly.
Aquarius-born value independence above all else, even at their own expense. And because you're kind of a chaos lord (in a good way), it makes sense that don't want to be hindered by one specific color palette or certain aesthetic, really. That’s why color blocking is the best of both worlds. With color blocking, you can express yourself with some pretty bold colors while still getting the more streamlined (and popular!) Insta aesthetic. Even super independent people want to be popular.
Pisces: Hurry up and take the pic, my arm hurts
If you’re a Pisces, you can take inspirational posts to the next level with your aesthetic. You're obsessed with creating the perfect versions of everything around you, and that extends to both your physique and your Instagram feed. Every photo you upload is perfectly posed and planned to show off Ideal You. There's Ideal You at the gym, Ideal You on a picnic, Ideal You trying to take a casually ethereal selfie on the beach while I try to enjoy this corndog in peach.
Taurus: I see you see me having a better day than you
Remember back when Instagram first started and we all had those thick, Lo-Fi filter borders around our pics? Taurus folks are hyper-trendy, so of course you remember. And this means you probably also know that the black borders are back in a major way, and it's the perfect way to show off all the colorful, bold stuff you want to show off to assorted frenemies and exes. you would know that one of the rarest Insta aesthetics includes having black borders on your photos.
Gemini: I have two personalities, and they're both busy
To embrace that duality, Geminis are going to want to adopt a classic black and white color palette for the feed. With this kind of color palette, you’ll be able to very overtly display those two sides of yourself with these specific colors. Sure, it can look a little moody. But, isn’t that what makes it interesting? Spend your time taking pics of weird neon signs and then sucking all the color out of them, and you've got an Instant hit.
Cancer: I always just hang out in wildflower fields, what are you talking about?
Cancers are natural empaths, and scarily in-tune with nature and the world around them. Accordingly, the ideal Cancer Instagram feed is filled with tangled ivy, perfect-saturated ocean pics, and their little Crab selves perched in the middle of it all, probably wearing something floral and floaty. Your ideal Insta colors are earth-toned, warm, and inviting. Kind of like you, I guess.
Leo: Stop taking pictures of yourself, your sister's going to jail
Though some may consider selfies to be over, they definitely aren’t on your grid. And neither are the 2742 hyper-specific face-editing apps you've got tucked away in a folder labeled GAMES. As a Leo, selfies should be your go-to movie for your Insta feef. Basically, since you’re naturally so self-assured, you won’t be afraid to post a hot AF selfie or a thirst trap or two on your Insta. There are no cohesive colors in your grid because each photo's tone is specific to whatever lighting is most flattering, which is a dedication to being hot few can master.
Virgo: Instagram more calming than a Xanax
Like Aquarius, Virgo-born can be a little shy at first. They’re also all about sophistication and practicality, and making you stop to look at tiny baby succulents on your way to work. A minimalist Insta feed, kind of like a cooler, more chi Ikea dreamscape, is exactly the kind of feed that will let Virgos really shine. Everything’s in its place and it will make everyone else wish that they had your eye for such a style, especially with cool-toned, white-hued pics.
Libra: The one everyone at brunch hates
Libras are the foodies of the zodiac, but they're also the irritating, glam bitches of the zodiac. A Libra will almost certainly have around 1000 more followers than you do, but they're also climbing atop their chair to get a better shot of their Belgian waffle at your birthday brunch. Tell me, was it worth it? The answer is yes, but only for a minimum of 300 likes.
Scorpio: 'What's the return policy on these items?'
Scorpios were practically born with a pink fur coat on a la Cam'ron/North West, so it makes sense that every picture on their feed features some new, impossible-to-pull-off ensemble. And seriously, every outfit is different — are you leaving the tags on your clothes to Instagram and return or what? Much like Taurus, you’re going to want to have a feed that’s as bold as you are. So just go all-out and put your fashionable self front and center. That way, the focus is all on you and your own personal, unique sense of style. Oh, and keep those receipts.
Sagittarius: Do you even have a job?
Sagittarius-born are known as the travelers of the star signs, and your Insta feed would do well to reflect that wild side. You know that new Drake lyric about girls who travel once but keep posting pics like they're still in some exotic locale? That should totally be you. Bonus points for tagging whatever hotel you paid to stay at captioned with "thank you for this amazing experience! 😊🙏" like they comped your stay.
Capricorn: Oh, this? It's just from a little vintage shop
Capricorns can be described as “natural rule followers" and that’s something you nerds should keep in mind for your feed. The best way to stick to the script, so to speak, and get a little creative would be to go something akin to vintage with your aesthetic. That could entail any number of routes whether you feature actual vintage pieces (like clothing, cameras, and the like) or implement a 90’s friendly filter. Just don't go overboard with it — your acai bowl is clearly not from 1993, and you look dumb for trying it.
This guy — no, this LEGEND — ranked every Hilary Duff song instead of writing a 15-page paper
Tbh I didn’t know she had this many songs
by Ari Bines
Back in college, being studious was only trendy because you knew the campus weed guy was dealing out of the library study cubbies — but despite distracting underclassmen screaming through bookshelves, getting last-minute homework done is always the end game. One student, however, took a 3-hour homework break to rank Hilary Duff songs.Phillipe Thao, a…
A guide to dealing with your white privileged friends
Integration’s great…until you witness them yell at their mother
by Ari Bines
There are certain things you, a non-white person reading this, can't get away with in comparison to your Caucasian peers. The system we live in will allow for your white privileged friends to wait for their venti-sized iced latte while yours is on hold while the police are called on you. You'll be faced with…
Here’s a step-by-step guide to how I got Instagram famous, and how you can do it too
It’s really just two main things
by Nian Hu
Not to shatter any illusions you had about the Almighty Insta Grid but as a certified Insta-famous person, I can confidently reveal that there are only two major keys to social media stardom — and neither of them require professional lighting equipment or a trip to Bali. Take a look at this picture and tell…